Follow your goals, stop procrastinating, don’t take on too much, exercise, eat right and enjoy life - here is a short list of what I would like for myself practically every modern person. Even when there is a vision of the goal, and the plan for change is thought out and calculated, it is not always possible to bring what you want into life. Find out how to still support your aspirations for change from this article. More acceptance, clarity and transparency in your relationship with yourself Let’s assume that you have chosen a goal that is very important and relevant to you, you began to take action, but suddenly At some point they stopped and seemed to roll back. You may have encountered the phenomena of procrastination “starting next Monday” or perfectionism “it won’t be perfect anyway.” And you most likely feel dissatisfied with yourself and blame yourself for your lack of will. Stop! Self-flagellation will only worsen being stuck in the current state. Instead, start noticing what feelings you experience throughout the day and what automatic thoughts accompany them - the first thing that appears in your mind when you are faced with some problem or experience. You will probably notice that most of your thoughts are about one thing. It's not always obvious to self-observation, but all these thoughts characterize your deep-seated negative beliefs about yourself. And in order not to be “excruciatingly painful,” our brain comes up with some conditional rules that seem to refute these beliefs. For a better understanding of what we are talking about, let’s take the example of perfectionism, when it reaches the point of endless drilling in all areas. A deep belief can become “I’m bad,” a conditional rule, for example: “If I don’t strive for excellence in all areas, I’m not worthy of love.” It’s difficult to change a deep belief about yourself, but revising a conditional rule is much more accessible. What conditional rule might be hiding behind your automatic thoughts? Consider the pros and cons of this rule. How can it be reformulated, revised? In the case of perfectionism, for example, in the conditional rule about total adherence to the ideal, you can replace “all areas” with 1-2 more significant ones. I recommend working on deep-seated beliefs and conditional rules in the vein of cognitive behavioral therapy. Exercise “My project in the rays of the sun.” Self-support When goals and means are determined, the plan and steps are thought out, beliefs are in the focus of attention, all that remains is to move the goal. How to support yourself? I offer a coaching exercise that I met during the course by Olga Rybina, MCC ICF >> “My project in the rays of the sun.” Algorithm: 1. Name the resources needed in your project (to achieve your goal).2. Place the named resources on the beams (see below).3. If each resource is present for 10 points, how will this affect your project (think 10 for each resource)?4. How many points does each resource have today?5. Strengthening the presence of which of these resources will influence the others?6. Name the first step And a few words about supporting a group of like-minded people In the book “Beat Procrastination! How to Stop Putting Things Off Until Tomorrow” (Peter Ludwig, 2014) you can come across the following idea: when people are united by some common vision, a very strong group motivation appears. “If our personal vision coincides with the vision of the society of which we are a part, a shared sense of meaning emerges.” Think about whether you can have a group of like-minded people? And how to collect and find them? Even if among your circle there is no one who is ready to follow you towards your cherished goals, do not despair. Having secured the support of a coach, you will begin to feel more confident and there will be less and less desire to roll back to the previous situation. You can get my advice or support by making an appointment using the specified contacts in my profile. Click “say thank you” if the article was useful to you.