Who is better? Or what children hear, continuation. On playgrounds there is always a mother or grandmother telling her child “look how good that boy is...” and then “he plays calmly”, “he is neat”, “he shares a toy”. The focus of my attention will be the comparison of the baby with other children, although the statements following the comparison can also be analyzed separately. How the child perceives this comparison, what thoughts and feelings it evokes and what he does next to cope with his condition, I will discuss this. Firstly, he has the thought “if that boy is good, then what am I?” And if he doesn’t do like that child, he will most likely evaluate himself as bad. This thought definitely affects self-esteem, making him insecure, shy, afraid to show up. We often encounter children and adults who raise their self-esteem, often by belittling others, because this is precisely the method of “comparison” that was broadcast in childhood. The second idea that arises in the child is “if he is not like that, does not do the right thing, then he is not loved.” This idea can create a need to achieve love, to prove that he is good. In the future, he will try his best to please, ceasing to be himself, neglecting his needs. Adults like such children very much, and such adults are also accepted by society, but psychologically it may be very difficult for them to constantly conform. The other side of this idea is when they don’t love him: “Mom doesn’t love me, she loves only the calm one, but I can’t be like that.” And here the child allows himself not to try, which, from a psychological point of view, is more safe for his personality. It is possible that under this condition, a lack of trust in the world may develop, since it is not accepted at the basal level. Accordingly, defensive reactions are formed; already in an adult, closedness and isolation are manifested. This idea that “I am not loved” can be reflected in a person in different ways. “They don’t love me, I’m not worthy of love,” which leads to difficulties in building relationships; “they don’t love me, and I don’t love myself,” causes difficulties in achieving success in any activity; “They don’t love me, and I don’t love anyone,” causes aggression and antisocial behavior. Emotionally, a child can show different reactions in such a situation depending on his personality traits and the strength of his nervous system. He may be offended, and this will cause his aggression. More often, children direct aggression not at the adults who offended them, but at the object of comparison - another child. Another reaction is that he may burst into tears, causing pity and attention to himself. He may not show his reactions if introversion predominates in him, and then they will appear later, perhaps through the actions that I described above. I have not described all reactions and development options, but only the most common ones. And I propose not to compare, but to motivate children to achieve achievements and support their love. “You can do it”, “What a great idea you came up with”, “I always love you”... And most importantly, every manifestation of a child has both difficulties and opportunities. For example, if your baby is active, it is difficult to keep up with him and keep track of him on a walk, but he quickly learns everything and grasps information. If your child can play quietly in the sandbox for 30-40 minutes, you have time to read or watch the news, but he may also need time to absorb new information and learn something. And be sure to pay attention to how the child communicates with others. Everything has pros and cons, it is important to emphasize the child’s individuality, to guide it, and not to make a person comfortable for himself, traumatizing him.