How to cope with resentment and learn to forgive? Consider a situation where a husband and wife went to a party. The husband drank and started telling obscene jokes. As a result, the next morning the wife demonstrates to her husband that she is offended by him because he behaved so defiantly at the party. The most surprising thing is that this situation can continue for more than a year. Don’t rush to blame your husband for everything! If you look at the wife’s position, here she acts as a clear Manipulator. Let me remind you that manipulation is a way to get what you want in a roundabout way. If the situation repeats itself, perhaps there is a benefit for both sides? What do you think? Okay, what might your spouse want then? Yes, in fact, anything: a new fur coat, affirmation of her self-worth, attention from her husband. That is, the wife does not directly tell her husband: “Darling, I don’t like your behavior at the party,” but reacts from the position of the Victim. The position of the Victim in transactional analysis - This is the inability to accept responsibility for one's own condition. and reach the position of an Adult, where everyone is responsible for their life, for their actions and for their condition. Yes, resentment arises when someone does not behave as we expect. More precisely, not the way we would like. And often resentment has a benefit, because with the help of resentment you can manipulate another person while in the state of Victim. You can avoid responsibility for your condition. You can revel in your state of resentment by saying to yourself something like the following: “How unhappy I am!”, thereby confirming your self-worth. Especially if a Rescuer appears and confirms this position with his actions and attitude. How to get out of the position of a victim? 1. Take responsibility for your life and for your condition.2. Work through the internal state that led to the state of the Victim. This can be done with the help of emotional-imaginative therapy, for example.3. Understand what manipulations I resort to to get what I want and what is the trigger for manipulation. what situations does this happen).4. Make a decision to interact with people around you in a new way - speak directly about your desires without the need to resort to manipulation. Tell us about your situations when you yourself are offended and what is stopping you. forgive another person? How to get rid of a mask that prevents you from sincerely communicating. Do you want to learn how to defend your personal boundaries? Write to WhatsApp or telegram 8 902 070 4879, I will give you recommendations on how to learn to do this in an environmentally friendly way?.