Resentment. All the holidays have passed - men's and women's, and gifts are not always joy and happiness, but also disappointment and even resentment. What is resentment. Resentment is a feeling that keeps a person in the past . The event has already happened, and experiences darken life in the present. This phenomenon has many definitions, and it is important to understand what is bothering you. It could be:✅ This is suppressed aggression, suppressed anger (I can’t say that I’m angry with you, so I will be offended).✅ These are thoughts about being treated unfairly + self-pity (I was unfairly offended).✅ This is a request for satisfaction of needs (In fact, I want warmth, but I cannot ask, I choose to be offended)..✅ This is a violation of the boundaries of another person (I decide how you should behave. And you must listen to me).✅ This is a way show yourself that I am good (He is an offender, he is bad. Compared to him, I am good).✅ This is a consequence of the fact that your boundaries were violated (I could not protect my boundaries, and this was rudely taken advantage of). Sometimes resentment feels like “ lump in throat,” pressure in the chest area. The feeling of resentment is accompanied by a depressed mood, sadness, irritability, anger, anger, and an inability to experience joy and pleasure. Resentments are not our innate emotions, but the result of social learning. Children quickly learn to be offended where their environment sees and interprets a variety of their emotions and their behavior in advance. For children, resentment is a natural means of putting pressure on loved ones - parents, friends, brothers and sisters. As a rule, among adults it is believed that being offended is stupid and ineffective. However, not everyone grows up, and many seemingly adult people continue to live with grievances. And they are no longer offended “because” but “in order”: so that people understand how to behave and how not to behave. We must admit that demonstrating offence can indeed be a very effective means of influence in relation to people who love you or who are attached to you. What to do if you are offended? Ask for forgiveness, withdraw possible claims and make amends. However, there are no completely standard solutions here. Why is it so difficult. let go of grievances? All because a person has some kind of secondary benefit from the grievance. Therefore, if you cannot let go of some grievances, then look for why they are beneficial to you. How can you help yourself? You can ease your worries by telling your story. The deeper the wound or trauma—past or current—the more often we may have to tell the story and mourn the fact that we did not get what we wanted. This can take months and even years of experiencing and discussing the feelings associated with our hurts and wounds. It can be briefly described as follows: 1⃣Recognize what upsets or worries us.2⃣Experience it, including telling your story.3⃣Consider the possibility that we have a choice to end suffering.4⃣Let go.The goal of the work is to clear ourselves of the burden of resentment so she has stopped drawing strength from you. How to understand what exactly has offended you with grievances:🎯Determine the type of offense🎯Think about what could “justify” the offender?🎯If you keep a grudge, what will it give you?🎯For what reason could you forgive him? What could change in your life then? You should work with your resentment not in order to improve relations with the inmate, but in order to free yourself from this burden.