From the author: www.mtp.lg.ua!! How to recognize a bad psychotherapist!! You turned to a psychotherapist for help, but it seems to you that he is an unimportant specialist. But is it really bad or just for you, from your point of view? “We will try to immediately avoid possible misunderstandings. If you don't like a psychotherapist, does that mean that he is really a bad specialist? It is not that simple. After all, the relationship between a therapist and his patient is extremely subjective: one of us may not like that the therapist is silent all the time, while the other, on the contrary, may find his questions and statements unceremonious. We are confident that a good therapist is, first of all, a person with whom we feel comfortable, who will support, understand, and offer the best ways to resolve all our difficulties and troubles. However, if such a feeling does not arise, this does not mean that we have met a bad specialist. Unfortunately, we risk being deceived no less if it seems that our therapist is the best and most competent. Indeed, in search of an ideal, we fall into the power of illusions inspired by the unconscious memory of early childhood charms and disappointments in relationships with parents. And we involuntarily transfer them to the therapist, and therefore simply cannot see him objectively. Sometimes statements about the “worthlessness” of the therapist can only be a convenient excuse to justify one’s refusal of psychotherapy. After all, when we feel the need to open up to someone, to share our feelings and fantasies, we often experience excitement and anxiety. We may be aware that we need the help of a specialist, but we will unconsciously shy away from reviewing forms of behavior or relationships that, although they make us suffer, due to habit, seem safer to us than the uncertainty of the new. This is how psychological resistance arises. A person in his power is ready to declare all specialists bad - just so as not to be subjected to such an unpleasant and often painful procedure.!! He must respect ethical standards!! So is it possible to objectively assess whether the specialist we are visiting is good or bad? asked for help? When experiencing difficulties, we seek help from another person, whom we consciously or unconsciously endow with enormous power: we pin our hopes on him and are convinced that he is the one who will help us. Therefore, we can say that a psychotherapist is bad in one and only case - if he abuses his power, his influence on us. It is unacceptable to use patients to improve one’s own social and financial situation, increase self-esteem, or get rid of feelings of loneliness with its help. Whatever the specialization of a psychotherapist, he must comply with a code of professional ethics and fulfill certain obligations towards his patient. The first among them is maintaining confidentiality, protecting the patient’s privacy from any intrusion by so-called third parties. In addition, the psychotherapist has no right to establish friendly or (especially!) sexual relationships with the patient. Violation of any of these rules, even if it seems quite harmless, indicates that there is something wrong with this specialist.!! He must answer your questions!! Each method of psychotherapy has its own limitations and rules. For example, in psychoanalytic practice, physical contact between the analyst and the patient is generally prohibited, unlike, say, bodily psychotherapy. A cognitive therapist will likely ask you to do your homework, while a Gestalt therapist, for example, will likely tell you, “Let's observe what happens in the session.” It is useful (before starting therapy) to have some understanding of generally accepted methods of psychotherapy - this will allow you to avoid pseudo-experts and outright ignoramuses. In addition, you need to find out about the professional reputation of the psychotherapist with whom you have come to see. At the first meeting, ask him about what training he has received, his».