You may have heard about the famous experiment with jam. In one store (let's say A) 6 types of different jams were put on the shelves, in another (let's say B) - 24 types. The organizers wanted to see how diversity affects consumer choice. As a result, it turned out that in store B more customers stopped near the shelves with jam than in store A. But in store A, 30% of those who paid attention made a purchase, and in store B only 3% did. What does this mean? Yes, that a large selection paralyzes our ability to choose. And we will prefer not to make a choice to agonizing doubts if we have too many options. It may seem that there is nothing special about this thought. However, think about what the world and society are actively broadcasting to us today? "All in your hands! There are billions of possibilities before you! You can do anything, become anyone, get married to anyone!” In practice, we see that people still live the lifestyle of their parents, go into professions that are either popular or famous (thanks to experience of the same parents), and get married to a classmate from the next door*. *Of course, I am exaggerating somewhat, but the general trend has not changed much compared to the time of our parents and grandparents. Only, despite the fact that that we seem to be doing the same thing, we experience much more doubts. After all, Instagram*, Facebook, Kontakt, Odnoklassniki and further down the list are full of the fact that others make the most of their billion opportunities. In addition, many go to the other extreme: they remain nobody, go around as eternal students and seekers “ theirs,” they jump from bed to bed and from marriage to marriage in search of “that thing I don’t know what.” And this problem is observed not only with global issues: choice of profession, partner, place of life, etc., we can literally begin to slow down on the most ordinary things: what to wear, where to go on Friday night, where to go on vacation, what to cook for dinner with your parents, etc. etc. Why does this happen? It seems to me that we are diligently trying to ignore the fact that there is one important rule in choice: for every “yes” there is a “no”! Even if you hypothetically have billions of opportunities, you cannot use them all. And then we find ourselves in a vicious circle: since we have to give up something, and there are so many possibilities, and I can choose only a few of them, I must choose the best, the ideal, created just for me, etc. and so on.! And if I make a mistake and choose the wrong thing, it will mean that I myself am imperfect, bad and unworthy... And I don’t want to feel my inadequacy, so I’d rather refuse the choice or take the first one that comes to me and wait for the moment when I can get everything and immediately. But this magical moment (“all at once”) never comes, and again I need to choose... It’s sad, isn’t it? To some, these feelings put into words may seem stupid. But it's not stupid! The fact is that when we try to describe our deepest feelings in simple words, everything seems somehow strange, unreasonable and wrong. However, feelings are feelings, and if an imperfect choice makes us suffer from our own imperfections, then we are forced to defend ourselves by refusing to choose or choosing the first thing that comes to hand. In fact, these defenses are good and can serve well when used to minor elections. For example, if you feel like you're stuck in front of a tray of ice cream, ask yourself the question, “Do I want something special right now (if so, what exactly?) or will I be fine with any ice cream because I want to cool down?” If you understand that you want something special, but it’s not here, feel free to refuse the choice: why take something that you don’t really want?! If you just want ice cream for cooling, take the first one that appeals to you and suits you in price/size/composition (or according to some criteria only known to you). This is a strategy.