She finished 8th grade, she was 13. She was returning from a children's camp, missing her family. She really expected her father to meet her, help her carry her heavy bag home, hug her and say that he missed her too. But no one met me. She hoped that she would see him at home. But only the cat was waiting for her in the apartment. It was already dark, she went to bed next to the phone. But is it possible to sleep when you are terribly worried, when you are waiting for at least some news? The bell rang. It was the father. He asked to bring the money to the hospital area. She didn’t really understand anything, quickly got ready and rushed to the bus stop, ran to the hospital, to the emergency room. The doctor said that the father was not there. Confusion, excitement, tears... It’s night outside, the buses are no longer running, what should I do? She went home, through the entire small town, through the industrial zone... At first she was very scared, she walked and sobbed, worried and angry with her father for not meeting her; for not being able to explain properly where she needed to take the money. Why is this even happening to her? Occasionally cars passed along the road; buses had not been running for a long time. At some point, the fear went away, she decided that she was brave and nothing would happen to her. I came home, lay down with the phone, hugged the cat, and in the morning my father returned. He could not explain anything... But she, she began to be proud of her action, considered herself fearless. Go to a showdown with 5 girls on a winter evening in a deserted place? No question, she's not scared. Returning alone late in the evening or at night? It’s easy, she’s not afraid. But one day she heard a story about how a girl was fleeing violence. She saw tears, trembling lips and fear in her eyes... And then she realized that there was nothing to be proud of, that not being afraid was not normal and even dangerous. The above story describes the process of desensitization (anesthesia of the feeling self). When a person finds himself in an emergency situation, he may not feel the full horror of what is happening. This deadening of the emotional Self helps us take action, do what is necessary. As in the example above, the girl needed to get home at night. In a favorable environment, if the girl had told someone about this story and received support, then, most likely, the absence of fear would not have become a habitual pattern of behavior. But she kept this story a secret, and she became proud of her courage, thereby putting her life in danger.