Let's start by defining what trauma is. Mental trauma (psychological trauma, psychotrauma) is a deeply individual reaction to one or another, usually tragic or extremely significant event for the individual, causing excessive mental stress and subsequent negative experiences that cannot be overcome independently and cause sustainable changes in state and behavior (Tvorogova N.D. Clinical psychology. Encyclopedic Dictionary. - M.: Practical Medicine, 2016. - 608 pp.). It follows from this that an event that can cause mental trauma in one person will be less painful for another. whether a person experiences psychological trauma or not depends on: - the individual characteristics of the nervous system. - the tension of the surrounding reality. The more tense the situation around a person, the more energy he spends on maintaining himself, the more vulnerable he becomes to injury - from the person’s previous experience. If a person was injured by something in childhood, then if he finds himself in a similar situation, he is more likely to experience stronger emotions, which can lead to a new injury. - the injury should not only be noticeable in the moment, but also be accompanied by strong feelings afterwards, “living” this trauma again and again, mentally returning to it. With each new replay of a painful situation in the head, a person cannot endure some experience that will help him overcome similar difficulties, but simply “invests” energy (strengthens neural connections). Digging a little from the topic, the most powerful example of psychological trauma is PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). stress disorder). As a rule, it is formed when a number of circumstances coincide: when there is a real threat to life or a “presentation of death” (death that a person saw in close proximity); when there is a head injury (for example, concussion), anesthesia or other physiological characteristics that turned out to be “favorable” for the formation of this disorder. How does trauma work? For example, a certain successful manager, self-confident, Valera, lives and works well. But it so happened that the manager calls him to the carpet. “The weather was beautiful, the princess was terrible,” that is, the manager is in a bad mood: the deal failed, for which no one else is to blame but himself, but I really don’t want to admit this to myself, because it’s easier to take out my anger on a subordinate. So, a meeting took place - Leader and Subordinate. The manager screams, swears, his face is red, angry, and the subordinate, a confident and successful manager, is all slouched, hunched over, tense, also blushing, and tears are welling up in his eyes from resentment. He can’t say anything, as if he’s lost the power of speech. He leaves the office - neither alive nor dead. In the evening he shares with his friends about this incident, but they do not understand how their Valera could behave so indecisively. What happened there in the end? Who did the manager see in front of him? Your boss? How old was Valera at that moment? The situation when the manager began to swear at him sent the manager back to childhood, where his dad scolded him for bad grades, perhaps using a strong belt to convince him. And now, Valera is no longer 30, Valera is already 7. How can a seven-year-old boy respond to a big and strong man who can be dangerous and could cause real, physically noticeable pain to himself? That’s what he did. What can Valera do in this situation? Well, first of all, understand that in a situation where they raise their voice at him or say certain words, he can fail at the age of seven, and stop blaming himself for that. Feelings of guilt are always a road to nowhere. It takes a lot of strength and energy and does not contribute to the formation of responsibility and an active solution to the situation. Secondly, realize that the boss is not the father. You can make your boss look less intimidating: play out a past situation in your head where the boss speaks in the voice of Mickey Mouse or +7 958 831-97-05