From the author: The Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus of Nazareth, is the only woman on Earth who knew in advance about the fate of her child, about a terrible and great fate. Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus, who was destined to die in the prime of his life, taking upon himself all the sins and suffering of the human race. Virgin Mary, in a reality whose existence even the most ardent atheists have no doubt about, a young woman who lived more than two thousand years ago, what have you taught us? Is it possible to suffer, to be a hero and to sacrifice? A lot of things are wrapped around the fact of motherhood, including lies. In fact, there is nothing special about motherhood itself - the implementation of a biological program, the continuation of the species, takes place. If you look at it in terms of socialization, then motherhood is the same territory for self-affirmation, self-expression or self-realization, like any other activity. And if you look at the percentage of conscious motherhood, then it is not high at all, I talked about this in the article Why do people want children. There is an opinion that maternal love is the only unconditional love possible. Is this true in reality? Essentially, love is always unconditional if it is love. Where there are conditions, there is no love. The phrases “in spite of” and “for nothing” are already conditions. Yes, a mother can love a child, of course, if she is initially filled with love for herself and the world. Everyone shares what they themselves are rich in. You cannot give another person what you do not have. If a woman herself is initially full of selfishness (has an inferiority complex) or egocentrism (superiority complex), then accordingly she herself is in a deficit of love. In fact, she has nothing to share with either her husband or her child. What kind of unconditional love are we talking about then? None. And it is quite natural that if you become a mother, such a woman only strengthens her internal feeling of guilt and shame for not experiencing those unconditional love feelings for the child that are talked about everywhere. This is where the legs of many distortions of maternal “love” grow, which formed in attempts to love the child. The mother rushes from one extreme to another into a state of selfishness. Therefore, you can observe the following scenarios of motherhood, which many perceive as true motherhood: - Overprotection or hypoprotection with all the ensuing consequences. I described this in detail in the article “How parents disfigure their children.” - This also gives rise to the idea of ​​sacrifice. Sacrifice of maternal love is nothing other than a manifestation of selfishness. Victims make the most cruel executioners, depriving children of the right to their own lives. Sacrifice as an advance towards the obligation to return “love” from the child to the mother. - Maternal heroism is the same story - a manifestation of selfishness. Heroism as a veiled way of extorting love in the future. You can often observe it in women who are raising a child alone. - Maternal endless fear for the child, and, as always, “with the best intentions.” Such “care” for the child rather destroys him than supports. There is no point in being afraid for children, it makes sense to bless them. The list of such manifestations of maternal “love” can be continued for a long time, I have voiced only the most striking options, which in turn have a lot of subtypes. The conditionality of maternal love, alas, is common in 90% of cases of motherhood. Conditionality is easy to prove1 A mother “unconditionally” loves her children. But she treats other people’s children differently. YOUR OWN child is already a condition.2. In motherhood, a woman receives her secondary benefits - and these are also already the conditions for interaction with the child. So, if you want to show unconditional maternal love for your child, then initially learn to accept yourself. Accepting yourself is your first step towards unconditional love for yourself, which you can then give to your husband and child. Fill yourself with the energy of Love. Unconditional love is a completed act of giving, without expecting feedback from the one to whom it was given. Give your children love and joy! Within the framework of this topic, I also recommend reading