My approach to couples therapy is humanistic-existential. I believe that every person is by nature good, worthy of happiness and love, striving for health and development. However, this does not exclude the possibility that misunderstandings and conflicts may arise between partners at various stages in relationships. The reasons may be different: different ideas about family and life, distribution of responsibilities, acting out early traumas, unmet needs, personal crises, difficulties of integration in families with children from different marriages, etc. Short-term couples therapy is designed to help partners clarify misunderstandings, and either learn to communicate constructively, coming to a common decision that will take into account the interests of both, or end the relationship in an environmentally friendly manner if it turns out that the differences are insurmountable. We love each other, where do the differences come from? People enter into into relationships to satisfy their own needs. It often happens that emotional needs are not recognized by us due to the influence of various factors. For example, there are important emotional needs that were not met in childhood, and then we can reproduce the same type of behavior and return to painful situations, in the unconscious hope of replaying it by satisfying the need. Or, for some, getting attention from a partner through an argument may be a more likely and predictable way to satisfy this emotional need than facing risks in establishing trust and intimacy. This behavior does not help us satisfy our hunger for warmth, acceptance, understanding, support and love, but only complicates communication. Harmful, repeating patterns in interactions can be identified during a course of couples therapy, try out new models of behavior and understand which of them can lead to the desired result. Everything is not as we expected. When entering into a relationship, each of the partners carries with them their own value system, formed on based on life experience, and the couple faces the inevitable task of forming one out of two. This can be difficult to do if everyone insists that their worldview is the correct one. When trying to develop a joint value system for a couple, disagreements may arise between partners due to different expectations from each other and the relationship as a whole. To resolve these disagreements, couples therapy needs to clarify what partners expect from each other and why. After all, some of our values ​​follow us from the families of our parents or even older generations, and perhaps are no longer relevant for our life tasks at the present time, then they can be revised without damage to both. On others we will stand with reinforced concrete, and argue why this is so important for us, let’s hope that the partner will understand and accept it. If we encounter insurmountable differences, a question will arise that may be scary to voice: does this relationship have a future? And if a solution is not found, then a decision will be made about the advisability of continuing them. And what is good? In therapy we will not only talk about differences and misunderstandings, it will be equally important to go in search of the positive aspects of the relationship. I am convinced that every couple has both weaknesses and strengths that are important to highlight, because this is what you can hold on to during the storm. I am sure that in any relationship, partners have something to praise and thank each other for, and if suddenly this is forgotten in the routine, we will remember. Will it really help? The main conditions of couple therapy are the desire of both partners to work on the relationship, and faith in that differences can be overcome. Relationships can only be maintained and improved if both partners are willing to invest time and effort into this, and they understand why they need it. If not, then a civilized divorce is also possible with the support of a therapist, especially if the partners have children together or other reasons for).