I think that every adult has at least once separated from a loved one or gotten divorced. The situation is very difficult and difficult emotionally. Why does someone go through a breakup and after some time start a new, happier relationship, while someone “hangs” in depression for years or becomes bitter according to the principle “all men are goats, all women bitches"? There is also a third option: a person very quickly (weeks count) starts a new relationship that is an exact copy of the broken one. The new partner suffers in exactly the same way as the previous one. To begin with, divorce is in second place in terms of severity of emotional experience, surpassed only by the death of a loved one. If the feelings were deep and the relationship was of high significance to us, we experience real grief and loss. In this situation, we are dealing with grief. Psychology defines the process of “normal” and “abnormal” grief. And even the “average” period of “normal” residence has been determined - from 6 months to a year. Why quotes? Because the concept of normal is still not precisely defined, and of course can vary individually. “Normal” living includes 5 stages, and in order to live and let go of grief, you need to go through everything. There is no more to add or less here. What are these stages? Denial. We cannot believe what happened, we are ready to agree to any conditions in order to restore the relationship. At this stage, we can become obsessive, calling and texting our loved one 100 times a day.2. Anger We are outraged, we dream of revenge, of retribution. We may start throwing things away, tearing up photographs, sending angry messages to the person we loved. “From love to hate there is one step,” in general. It is very important to find a way to express it safely, to engage in active sports.3. A deal or hope for a miracle. I think everyone has seen this or lived through it themselves: after being angry for a couple of weeks, we begin to ask for forgiveness, try to get the relationship back at any cost, conclude a truce, we really want to forget everything like a bad dream. Options are possible here: our loved one either agrees , almost always not for long, and after some time the relationship breaks down again, and we again find ourselves at the first stage. Or he doesn’t agree, which is experienced as a tragedy. Let's move on.4. Hopelessness and melancholy. And here it is, what we feared most: heavy, cloudy, gray hopelessness. The colors have faded, nothing makes you happy, you want to lock yourself at home under the covers and never see anyone. We feel very sorry for ourselves, and it seems that this will never go away, we will never be able to love THIS way again. However, there is still a next step.5. Acceptance. At some point the day comes, and we understand that we have come to terms with the inevitability of what is happening. It is from this moment that all the fun begins. We begin to think about changes in life, restore social connections, study, change our image and make our dreams come true. And after some time, if we allowed ourselves to live through all this, we begin to understand what really happened. Where did we go wrong, what did our partner do wrong? This is where the chance appears to change everything, to become better, to understand what you really want from a relationship. We can discover our personal secret of happiness and find it. Actually, an “abnormal” experience of grief would be “stuck” at one of these stages. Stuck at the stage of denial depletes all resources, and if this is not stopped in time, there is a chance of going into real depression Stuck at the stage of anger is expressed in its suppression. This is where the beliefs about “all men are goats, all women are bitches” appear. If we haven't found a way to express our anger safely, it eats away at us from within. Psychosomatic illnesses may begin. Or a person begins to create short new connections, which only strengthen his belief in the unreliability of the opposite sex. It is very important to express all negative feelings and not keep them to yourself. It's good to have friends who can listen. Or consult a psychologist. Freezing at the third stage can be expressed!