From the author: Happy family relationships can only be built on openness, trust and sincere communication. You can get to this in many ways, one of them is in this article. Modern people have an amazing opportunity to get married and marry for love. But, often, it turns out that love alone is not enough to ensure that the marital union remains strong and lasting for many years. What is family and family relationships? This is, first of all, communication, i.e. exchange of information, emotions, feelings, and experiences that are meaningful to each other. Communication as a process has its own characteristics. Initially, at the stage of creating a relationship, the couple communicates not with each other, but with the images that we have in our heads, and which were created in the process of our life experience, our parents, society and other factors. Only some time after the start of living together, the spouses begin to see the real image of each other, which can be very different from the internal image in the head, and tension in the relationship begins to increase, which leads to conflicts. For example, a young girl wants to get married. She has in her head the image of a romantic spouse who brings breakfast in bed, gives flowers every day, carries her in her arms and fulfills all desires. She meets a young man who does just that during their courtship. They are getting married. Almost immediately after the wedding, all romantic attributes disappear, the young husband works, comes late, tired, sits and watches TV. The girl's tension grows, which results in conflict. And the young man is purely pragmatic by nature, he has hardworking, hard-working parents who raised and supported in him the value of work and the value of marital relationships precisely through joint work for the benefit of the family. During his courtship, he sought the girl’s hand in the way that is accepted in society today, and he simply corresponded to him. After the wedding, he expected that his wife would begin to make the house comfortable, raise children, and he would begin to work. And this is precisely the standard of a happy family for him. He simply does not understand the essence of his wife’s claims. What can you do, since both spouses are right? First, understand for yourself what you want and expect from your spouse and how these expectations will shape your life. For example, if your spouse gives you flowers every day, then your family budget may not be enough for something more important. Next, form and create a real image of your life partners (the same applies to your children, whose ideal images are also in head of each parent). How to do it? Observe your partners, but not just, but with sincere interest, a desire to understand and, most importantly, without judgment. Highlight features of behavior and character. If something upsets or annoys you, analyze what the reason is and change your attitude towards it to neutral, if you cannot somehow influence a positive change in the situation. For example, if you scatter socks or combs, mascara and powder throughout the apartment, your partner may not like it for various reasons, from the requirement of cleanliness to maintaining a sense of intimacy. Use so-called I-messages: “Honey, when I see mascara lying on the windowsill, I feel uncomfortable and begin to think less romantically about you, because... for me it is part of a woman’s intimate life, please keep it in your makeup bag or toilet cabinet.” Or: “Darling, when I see scattered socks, I get upset because... I take this as disrespect for my work in keeping the house clean, please put them in the laundry bin.” With this you indicate your feelings, without insulting your partner’s feelings, explain to your partner the reason and help him change this situation with a specific request, for example, putting socks in the laundry bin. Ask yourself every day: “What’s new in my partner today, what exactly is he doing today?” am I attracted to you?” It is precisely such simple actions and non-judgmental perception of a partner that will reduce.