From the author: Relationships end when emotions and feelings disappear and an even attitude appears like: “Yes, there was such a friend in my life. Thanks to him, I learned something through the relationship with him, I move on ". And so you can go to different continents and never meet again, but while I feel crushed or flattened at the thought of a person, this means that the relationship is not over and part of me remains in it. In principle, you can live your whole life like this and accumulate a lot of unfinished relationships in your “inner closet” - there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that the more it crushes me, the more energy I have left in this relationship, and if there are many such relationships, then there may be little strength left for life in the present and apathy and depression are possible, when you no longer want anything, there is no strength for anything. So where to start? Our picture of the world is made up of our beliefs. And since we live inside it, it is very difficult to find out anything about it. To learn about your picture of the world and the beliefs that make it up, you need to go beyond it. And just such strong emotions as anger, rage, pain, resentment, etc., which arise when communicating with people, are those “points” through which it is possible to go beyond the limits of your picture of the world and find out on what it is, in fact, built. By uncovering what lies behind emotions, we can realize which of our beliefs and attitudes are “violated” in relationships. They say that all problems come from childhood. And this is true - relationships with parents are the most “charged”. But usually a person understands that he cannot cope with something on his own and needs the help of a psychologist at 20, 30, 40 years old. Can you imagine how many small grievances we have had over the years - with classmates, teachers, friends, acquaintances... how many unresolved conflicts that we put “in the closet” by simply ending the relationship. And at that time it was absolutely correct, because since childhood no one had taught us to work with conflicts and the only right way out was to turn away from the conflict and move on - along the path of least resistance. And then it may turn out that having gone around all the sharp corners, we reach a dead end. All our energy remains in this unfinished relationship. And we may simply not have the strength to respond to the psychologist’s suggestion: “Let’s go back to childhood and our relationship with our parents.” We can compare this situation to a mess in the house. They offer me to wash the floor. And I have a lot of things laid out on the floor - clothes, papers, books, toys - you never know! :) You can, of course, take radical measures and throw everything out without looking, then wash the floor and arrange everything again. It seems to me that this is only possible if you reach the extreme stage of desperation to change everything dramatically. And in order to arrange everything anew, resources are also needed. But in principle, this is also an option sometimes. Or there is another way - to start unraveling and laying out what lies on the surface - what it is, why I need it, where is the place for this. Use what is useful, let go of what has become obsolete. So gradually we will regain our energy and put our inner world in order. If it’s difficult for me to start working with relationships that are painful and highly charged with conflicts, then I can start working with other conflicts - those that exist with acquaintances, colleagues, friends. And so gradually unravel my experience, release the energy contained in the past and learn to transform conflicts and get rid of the most delicious of them :) And there, in the depths of every conflict, believe me, there are many pleasant and useful things that came to you with their gifts in the “conflict package”!