Resentment is a complex feeling both in composition and in the process of living. Essentially it is a mixture of pain and anger. Both components can be damn strong and a wave of resentment can simply knock you off your feet. Many people have a negative attitude towards resentment. There are many texts about how to stop being offended, about how destructive and unnecessary this feeling is. Therefore, I think it is important to remind you that, in principle, we do not have unnecessary feelings, and resentment is no worse than others. She deserves space and time too. But there is a certain cunning in it. Due to its dual composition, it can get “stuck” and begin to have a toxic effect. How does this happen? Resentment arises if I feel that someone has unfairly injured me. I feel hurt, I feel bad, I feel sorry for myself and I’m angry at the one who makes me feel these unpleasant feelings. Natural human reaction. I can get stuck in resentment if my pain turns into a kind of punishment for the offender. “Look how bad I feel! It was your terrible act that brought me to this state!” And now I’m clinging to my pain myself, not letting it go, because anger demands that I continue to punish the offender. He made me feel bad. Now let the guilt gnaw at him, which I will support by demonstrating my suffering. This process can drag on for a long time. And the toxic properties are obvious - I cling to my own pain, and this, to put it mildly, is uncomfortable. Calls to forget grievances seem absurd. Yeah, what’s this, he’s like this with me, and I’ll just forgive him? And believing that impossible altruism is required of me, I hold on to my resentment even tighter. It's funny how getting stuck can happen even if I'm no longer in contact with the abuser. In this case, the “punishment” does not concern him at all. And for some reason the idea of ​​forgiving and letting go is still perceived as a good thing towards him. In fact, releasing the pincers of resentment, which has already received its space, is an act of healthy selfishness and self-care. An action occurred that caused resentment. It hurts, it hurts. We take time to feel sick, we take time to feel sorry for ourselves. We take time to be angry from the bottom of our hearts. And we don’t hold on any longer, we let go. After all, if our “punishment” does not concern the offender, there is no point in mocking ourselves in principle. And if so, the necessary experience has already been obtained. We agree not to allow this to happen again and live peacefully without unnecessary poison in our souls.