We continue to analyze parental attitudes, which, as the child grows up, can lead to the development of unhealthy egoism, lack of independence and other, no less serious, problems. Today we will have older children who are already fully aware that do, and may be held responsible for the consequences of their actions. “The child is just playing!” One of the most common attitudes at the moment is to attribute any child’s actions to the fact that he is small. This also applies to behavior in the family, and especially to interaction with others. It’s one thing when a child simply cannot control his emotions and cries/behaves aggressively, it’s another when he does this on purpose. It is impossible to turn a blind eye to the fact that a child offends younger children, animals, behaves inappropriately in public places (for example, damages other people’s property or is rude). A child is the same member of the society in which he will have to live as an adult. And in society there are certain moral and ethical norms and rules. What to do? Teach your child these norms in an age-appropriate manner, while not forgetting to respect personal boundaries. For example: a child may not share his personal item/toy with others, but, in general, sharing is a common, normal practice that allows you to build a more interesting game and establish contact. The main thing is that there is no damage to someone else’s property, either on one side or on the other (this also needs to be explained). Manifestations of aggression and cruelty in general should be monitored especially carefully and should not be encouraged under any circumstances. It is better to immediately show the child to a specialist. “Our child does not like to eat vegetables and go to bed when he wants.” A child, of course, may have certain food preferences and characteristics such as a dislike of waking up early. But this is precisely the case when it is necessary to project the consequences far into the future. Keeping a daily routine is a boring thing, but extremely useful (for adults too, by the way). For children, this is not just an obligation, it is a necessity. The regime is the constant that makes the child’s psyche stronger and more stable. This also applies to nutrition. What to do? Creating healthy eating habits and maintaining a daily routine is entirely the responsibility of parents. If you've passed the age when you can simply give your child the right food and take him to the bedroom, lead by example. Demanding a child to put away gadgets and go to bed, while sitting on the phone at the same time, is at least illogical. Just like crunching chips, asking your child to eat a vegetable salad. “The interests of the child come first.” This applies to those cases when dad walks around in torn shoes, and the child is bought another toy for the price of a pair of shoes, because “the child wanted it that way.” It is no coincidence that this point is in the section about older children - with age, “appetites” only increase. You will walk around in an old winter jacket, and your child will play with a new tablet. By the way, this applies not only to the financial side. What to do? Not just to explain, but to show through actions that in a family the interests of all its members are equal. There is nothing wrong with a family having average or lower income. It’s bad when parents try to create an “aura of wealth and abundance” around the child. It’s normal to plan your budget and purchases, count your income and expenses, and show it to your child. It’s normal to be tired, not want to play and go for a walk with a fever, just so as not to “injure” the child. What global conclusion can be drawn from the two articles? A conscious approach and balance are important everywhere. Permissiveness carries the same harm as constant prohibitions. A child is a member of the family, where his interests and needs must be taken into account and boundaries must be respected. And at the same time, it is necessary to instill in the child the same things in relation to other family members. Do you think there is now a tendency towards permissiveness in education? Perhaps you have already noticed in modern children some features associated with such upbringing? Sign up for a consultation: WhatsApp, Telegram +7!💪