Conversations about therapy, part 3 (This is how therapy works, part 3) Hello, Dear friends! Today I am publishing the third part of the article “This is how therapy works.” The first part is here, the second is here. In the previous part we stopped at the fact that the Participant asked how to deal with the fact that the support the client receives during therapy will not be identical to the support that could have been received to them from their parents in childhood. The participant also argued that this would have a very negative impact on the outcome of therapy. Participant: Such internal images (internal images of another, supporting the client in the past or present: the therapist’s mother, etc.) must be strong enough, only then can they play the role of a resource and support for the client. But who said they would be strong? Rather, in comparison with the rejecting image of the mother, they will be weak and, accordingly, will not be useful. And I’m very interested here, how strong is the client’s image of a rejecting mother? About the negative influence, I will say that subsequently the client will begin to seek the same support from others, similar to that which he received in therapy. And not receiving it, the client begins to demand it, with all the negative circumstances accompanying this. And if the demand fails, the client will withdraw, become asocialized, and become depressed. The further development of this scenario is not difficult to imagine. V.M. (Vladislav Mashi): If the relationship with the psychologist develops, turns out to be trusting, important, then the supporting image of the psychologist that the client will carry further in life after completion of therapy will be strong. Regarding the desire to receive support from others: won’t others be able to give it to him? give? Why not? After all, by creating a relationship with a psychologist, the client not only “gets fish, but also learns to catch them,” i.e. learns to receive support. A psychologist, in general, is also the same person as everyone else, and if a relationship has developed with him and he wanted to support and did, why wouldn’t others want to do the same for the client? Of course, such, let’s say, voluminous support is not always possible to find, but if friends, acquaintances, and colleagues support you a little bit, then that’s good! In therapy, the client learns to build more constructive relationships with other people, and it works! Support – it comes not only from your mother or psychologist! Participant: I think it's an illusion. How many years has the image of a rejecting mother accumulated strength? Yes, besides, the author must have an image of an imaginary, accepting mother, as opposed to a rejecting mother V.M.: In therapy, by the way, the relationship with the mother is also worked out, thanks to which the client’s image of her can change quite a lot. And let's not forget that we can look for other supporting figures from the past. The author (I remind you that write the article on a topic on the forum that the Author created), by the way, named a very supportive image of the grandmother with whom he spent a lot of time. The relationship with her, her support can be remembered and strengthened in therapy. Yes, and therapy does not last one day, but often for quite a long time. To be continued! PS But you can’t rely on yourself, you can only rely on the support of others, which is now or was before, and has become, as it were, part of us - see the discussion below in the comments