“It has simply become impossible! Everyone seems more successful to me. You go on social networks, meet classmates, friends, relatives... Who is at a new, high-status job. Who buys an apartment, who gets married. Family, children, travel. Who, on the contrary, is free, like the wind, and also 10 years younger. I’m the only one... a loser... I feel terrible. Horribly unsuccessful. When did I take a wrong turn?” In the world of Internet technology and successful success, where everyone shows only the best version of themselves, it is difficult to resist the temptation to look at your own reality through the filter of success. And it turns out that, unlike... (Masha, Vasya and the Petrovs): your figure is not fit enough; there are no prospects for growth at work; you still have not met a suitable partner; and for more than ten years you have not been 20... The process of comparing yourself with in others it is a kind of engine, if you don’t get carried away. We begin to understand what we are good at and what still needs to be worked on. But focusing on the bright moments of other people's lives can lead to the risk of losing your own happiness and joy of being. A drop in self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness, depreciation, doubts about our own desires, etc. - we get all these negative benefits when we compare ourselves with others and not to your advantage. “...and now I don’t want anything at all. Even getting out of bed. I can't keep up with them anymore. While everyone was getting married, I was trying to establish myself at work. And now, while I am building relationships and thinking about the child, everything again in my career and earnings is clearly above me. Is it worth trying to do anything at all?” What will happen next if you don’t figure this out I bet that as a child, talking about how your day went in the garden/at school, you heard something like: -….mmm…four ? Why not five? What about your friend Masha? Five? And how did this happen, I wonder? And Arina, over there, plays the cello, and you only know how to play computer games, isn’t it a shame? All children are like children, and look at you, your hair is disheveled, your knees are dirty, your shoelaces are untied. How is this possible? And a little later, of course: the daughter of Marina, my friend, got a job at Gazprom. Do you know how much he gets? And Sashka, from the 10th floor, gathered for the second. And with her husband and family she moves out of town into her own house. And some of this clearly “sounds out” when you look at someone else’s success, right? The reality is that the path of comparisons is a dead end in any case. Well, it is impossible to achieve the ideal, because there will always be someone richer, happier and more successful. And a person who suffers from self-criticism will continue to follow from one alien goal to another, feeling unhappy. Such people are more likely to be depressed, and they have higher rates of anxiety. Against this background, motivation disappears, the existing structure collapses and relationships suffer. 4 ways to stop comparing and start living Focus on your strengths. Write down the qualities that you really like about yourself. Practice gratitude. Thank yourself for moving all this time and coming to the current point. Under your specific life circumstances. Take a piece of paper and write gratitude for a quiet morning, the opportunity to drink hot coffee and for the absence of a migraine. So, your attention will gradually begin to focus on joys, both small and large. Grieve, if necessary, your life circumstances. Chances are, while others were moving toward a career or a large family, you were struggling with something in your life, or still are, that was keeping you from moving faster. This is normal, this is your path, it is unique in that it is exactly like this. This is your story. Don't devalue it. Lend yourself a shoulder. Develop a sense of peace and harmony in yourself to enjoy what you have today, here and now. Remember, everyone has their own path. We are not created for stress and anxiety, if you can’t deal with this, I invite you to a consultation. I will help you pay attention to your own values, strengthen the supports and foundation, something that will not shake under any circumstances».