From the author: This can be learned. You just have to start :-) Secret 3 Refuse interpretations - this is artificial light One of my clients, during an individual consultation, said that she was very irritated by a certain position of her husband in a chair. She claimed that in this position of his body he demonstrates his superiority over her. I asked him to show me this position. When she settled down in the chair the way her husband does, I asked: “What are you feeling now?” Listen to yourself, to your body. - Relaxation. “It’s very convenient,” she answered. “And this is not at all what you imagined?” I clarified. “Yes,” she agreed. It is very important to learn to separate the reality of what we perceive and our ideas about it. As you understand, there is a qualitative difference between them. Try not to use value judgments. Trying to squeeze things into certain categories, you stop seeing their real meaning. Don’t hang labels! If something “catches” you in your man’s pose or gesture, try to take his pose, repeat his gesture. “Neurotic suffering is suffering in the imagination, suffering in fantasy,” said the founder of the Gestalt approach in psychology, Fritz Perls. Life is short - avoid such “suffering.” Live reality, not your fantasies about it!