Category: Self-care Pay attention to who most often gives advice on what to do. As a rule, these are people who have no experience in what they advise (marital relationships, friendships, relationships with adult children, management, independent living, etc.). Or they have bad experience in this matter. They themselves have not succeeded, but they give advice. At the same time, they advise quite persistently, getting irritated and angry if you do not listen to them. They have a common phrase: “Don't make my mistakes,” which seems like a powerful warning to them. However, you can't make their mistakes, and here's why. You have a different character, habits, behavior pattern, principles, beliefs. Yes, and in general, you are a different person. By the way, if you look at your situation, it may also differ significantly from that of the adviser. Therefore, his mistakes remain with him, and you have the right to make your own. Why don’t you take the risk and make them? In any case, it will be much more useful for you. After all, mistakes will form your own experience, which you can take into account next time. Some people are afraid to make mistakes, not giving themselves a chance to live to their full potential. I already wrote about this. I made a mistake. What to do now? The famous psychotherapist Robert Leahy shows how you can change your attitude towards mistakes. He suggests viewing the error as a separate object. Don't identify with her. Do not reject the mistake, but accept it, allow it into your life, talking to it something like this. You: I was waiting for you Error: All my life people criticized and ridiculed me. They are ashamed to meet me. You: There is always a place for you in my house. You don't need to worry about me. I will never care for you. ashamed. You are part of my family, you have always been with me, always been my companion. Error: But don't you consider me a burden? Don't I remind you of your imperfections? You: You remind me that I am human. You keep my thoughts and my heart humble. I need you to keep in touch with the family I love so much. Error: I feel at peace now. Do you mind if I lie down on the bed and rest? I have been traveling for so long and finally found someone who accepts me. You: My home is your home. Peace be with you. As you can see, it’s not so scary to allow mistakes to happen, recognizing their right to exist. After all, they have their own task, role, mission, if you like. They help us accept ourselves as imperfect as we are. But at the same time quite good :). Also, mistakes guide us towards self-knowledge and teach us to be compassionate towards other people. What is your relationship with your mistakes? If you remain an uncompromising fighter against them, you probably feel tired, and perhaps even exhausted from constant stress. Then it’s better for you to seek help from a psychologist. If you liked the article, please support it with a like. PS Make an appointment for a consultation via WhatsApp by phone. 8 (906) 497-76-65 or message us on the website.