Keeping a child's room tidy is a headache for every parent. Is it possible to teach a child to be tidy without yelling and threatening? You can. Practical guidance from a mother of 7 children👨‍👩‍👧‍👦So, let's get started. Remember the main rule: you decided that there should be order in the child’s room. He doesn’t think so, yet))) He’s already comfortable, and that’s normal. Therefore☝Before you go to your child, answer yourself 3 questions: 1. What do I think and feel about the order in the child’s room?2. What do I want?3. Why? If, answering the first question, you felt tension, irritation or even indignation, breathe deeply. Most likely, parental attitudes, personal experience of communicating with your parents about cleaning the room, or a sense of responsibility for everything and everyone have awakened in you. If you go with this luggage to your child, there will be a scandal. It’s better to take all this stuff to a friend or psychologist. You need to go to your child with a clear understanding of what you want. And express this understanding by starting with the words “I want...” rather than “you should...” or “the room should...” For example: “I want you to put away the toys because I can’t get to your bed to kiss you goodnight” or “I want our house to be clean, and your room to be part of our home...” You express your desire and ask for assistance, leaving the child a choice. This is how you build relationships based on trust and cooperation. Compare: “There must be order in the room!” In this phrase, you distance yourself, press with some kind of abstract obligation, and take a “top” position. If this is your favorite phrase, say it to yourself while looking in the mirror and see your reaction. I’m sure you’ll laugh for a long time at the absurdity of this phrase. Or: “When are you going to clean your room?!” The question is about nothing. It does not encourage action and sounds like a rebuke. The answer suggests itself: “Never!” So ​​we come to the third question: why? Why do you need your child to clean the room right now? Usually this question confuses parents. But this is a very important question, by answering it honestly every time you are going to act or make a decision, you can avoid many unnecessary gestures. Answer options: It’s not normal to live in such a mess. The child must fulfill my demands. Grandma will come tomorrow, and again he will give a lecture about what bad parents we are. If I don’t force him to clean his room, he will get used to living in dirt. It is important for me to be in contact with the child, to build a relationship, so I will remind him of our agreements. Your option .I like option No. 5, because I use cleaning the room as a training situation for me and for the child. I learn to negotiate, respect other people's space, defend my boundaries, and express desires. And by my example I teach my child the same. Read about how this happens in the following article. Sign up for a consultation on the website or via WhatsApp +79605238687