1. Intimacy as a search for the optimal distance. When I think about couples in conditions of self-isolation, first of all I remember the view of intimacy as a search for the optimal distance between partners. Perhaps now your distance has been reduced too much. Try to find now that special new balance that suits each partner. Talk to each other: do you have enough personal time and space now? How can you now organize your rhythm of getting closer and further away so that everyone is as comfortable as possible? How does your partner’s desire to get closer or further away make you feel?2. Social needs. Every person has a large number of social needs: communication, acceptance, attention, recognition, self-expression, etc. Perhaps now, in conditions of self-isolation, you or your partner will be faced with too many expectations associated with a variety of needs that were previously managed to be resolved at work, with friends, during a massage, etc. This can lead to a lot of tension and dissatisfaction with each other. And here, in my opinion, a fairly good way out is to make the system of your relationships more open. Try to arrange meetings with friends or colleagues online. Try to find new ways to express yourself. For example, I noticed that when I changed my mind and started leading groups online, and began several creative processes with colleagues, my relationship with my partner became less tense.3. Inevitable conflicts. The purpose of the conflict may not be to convince the partner that you are right, but to “hear” each other’s deepest needs. After all, inside eternal problems that seem insoluble, there are opportunities for intimacy and mutual understanding. Mutual understanding is the healthiest and most productive goal of all conflicts. Possible practice: sort out a quarrel that has already happened. Step 1. Tell each other about the feelings that each experienced during the quarrel and after it. Step 2. Each partner tells his own view of the quarrel. You may get two different stories. And it will be great if you manage to “hear” and accept your partner’s version. You may even be able to support your partner’s story and point of view with your questions and active listening. Step 3. Everyone take responsibility for the quarrel that happened. What is your contribution to the quarrel? Try to discuss this openly with your partner. Notice how the attitude towards each other changes at this step. Step 4. Come up with a plan that is good enough for you for how you could act differently in a similar conflict.4. One + one is more than two. The key question here is: how do you complement each other? When there is danger outside, each person copes in his own way. And if we consider the couple as a whole, then your methods become more numerous. You are more protected in the face of danger. Possible practice: Each partner writes down on a separate sheet their ways of coping with anxiety. Next, discuss them with each other. Try to find something valuable for yourself on your partner’s list. What can you learn from your partner? Create a shared list for your couple of “Our Ways to Handle Difficult Situations.”5. Anxiety as unrecognized feelings. To reduce anxiety, it is important to recognize the feelings that are hiding behind it. Sometimes, in contact with another, this is easier to do. Possible practice: start telling your partner what sensations you have in your body “here and now”, how they change during a conversation, try to name current feelings and, perhaps, even needs that are They hide with them. It is important that both partners are open to such dialogue.