He left... what to do???? Calm! Instructions on how to cope with divorce and separation will help you. All tips have been tested and work! Addressed to women. It also works for men with some modifications. 1. Think of this period as a period of illness or flu. Now the old neural connections are really dying. The acute period is 2 weeks. It will become an order of magnitude easier in 1.5 years. Give yourself time. 2. Minimize communication with him, block him, don’t follow him on social networks, Viber, etc. for at least 28 days. In the morning, tell yourself the phrase “today I live without him”, simply, without thinking, just one day and just without him, in a different way. (not horror-horror, but in a different way)3. Remove everything that reminds you of him, throw away anything that is not valuable. If you have children, leave his photo in their room if they ask for it. 4. Thinking about him, you energetically feed your former connection, and the old and non-functional one must be removed. Instead of thinking about him, you think about your future or about simple everyday things. It’s like the monkey “don’t think about the white one”, you will immediately think, decide what you will think about in advance or do and immediately switch there. Direct your energy not to “brain chewing gum”, but to the right thing. 5. When you get angry, direct this energy in the right direction, into sports, into business, into any desire, into a dream. You have the right to be angry, that's normal! 6.Can't you forgive him? Don't say goodbye YET or not everything. Allow yourself not to be Mother Teresa and an all-understanding confessor at once. Forgive YOURSELF, stop blaming yourself. 7. Feel sorry for yourself! You have the right to do this, and ask for help from others too! 7.1. Find something to do, write a LIST of things to do with your free time, it’s better if there is no free time at all. Suffering takes time. Or ideally - give yourself 20 minutes, for example, to suffer. 8. Plan every day what you will do in the evening, and when it’s time, you will look at the “cheat sheet”. 9. Plan yourself a week, then a month, then a year. Write down, there is a super application called evernote, it’s convenient to write plans, individual thoughts, photos, motivations for yourself, and look there in difficult times. 10. Don't know what to do? Doing at least something is the same as, well, it’s better for the good and benefit of your soul and body. 11. Still don’t know what to do? Put things in order and take care of beauty and health, this is the most important task of a woman - to be beautiful. “There are no unbeautiful women, only unwell-groomed ones” - Coco Chanel. It’s just that the cream on the butt is already doing its job and creating a condition. 12. Write a list of your supports and resources, a list of people you can come to, call, write, talk to. 13. Go to a psychologist once a week and maybe a psychiatrist, he will prescribe mild antidepressants and vitamins for support. 14. Now the task is to survive, recover, don’t demand much from yourself. 15. Allow yourself to cry, you can really make time and space for yourself. “Now I’ll put the kids to bed and go to the bath and cry.” 16. Get yourself a diary, write all your emotions there, scale them (-10, 0+10, you’ll be surprised, but it turns out that not every day was - 10), you can go further and write reasons for emotions. You can just write everything that’s in your head and feelings - nonsense, everything in a row, it’s called automatic writing, it’s very relieving. 17. Don’t discuss this topic with everyone, filter it. Formulate one phrase that answers all provocative and curious questions. “Now we just live separately, we decided to relax, we decided to separate, let’s not discuss this topic, and so on.” You already have a circle of people with whom you can talk in more detail (see point 12) 18. Don’t delve into the reasons. Just know that both were involved and both are to blame. 19. Find the benefits of this for yourself. They definitely exist! (no need to cook duck with apples, buy bread now, you can sleep diagonally and there are a dozen more advantages) 20. Music, smells, objects, clothes. Surround yourself with what makes you happy. 21. Meditation. You can find on YouTube on different topics: relax, calm down, get motivated.22. When it’s really bad and it seems like you have no strength, just BREATHE! It's better with your stomach! )