From the author: Often in communication we put different meanings into what we want to convey to our partner. This is where the idea of ​​insincerity arises. Phew, let's try to figure it out. Sincerity, or how else it can be characterized - honesty, truthfulness. The most important sign of sincerity is consistency, or the similarity of what a person says (verbal component) and what a person shows, for example, with facial expressions (non-verbal component). In psychology, such similarity of verbal and nonverbal signals (or components) is called congruence. Surely many of you have paid attention to people with whom you encounter a discrepancy in what they say and what they show. For example, when they say that they are very sympathetic and at the same time the facial expressions demonstrated in disgust are visible on the face. Or they say that they really value communication with the interlocutor, turning away or looking at the smartphone. Unpleasant, isn’t it? Please note that sincerity depends on many circumstances, for example, on human competence, on the emotional component of speech, the role position of the speaker, and much more. But sometimes it happens that the speaker sincerely does not understand what is being said to him, or is sincerely surprised that everything was done differently than in the sense that was intended. Communication itself, as a process, implies the presence of purpose and meaning. From time to time, this process gets out of control and becomes spontaneous, unpredictable, which means that the interests and needs of those communicating are not satisfied in the process of communication. And if the meaning of communication suffers, or it becomes “blurred” and uncertain, this does not mean that it does not exist at all. Perhaps the interlocutor has it. The perception of differences in semantic information often leads to ideas about the interlocutor as insincere, because the speaker most often imagines (projects) that the intended meaning is a priori clear to the interlocutor and the dialogue is conducted on a single semantic plane. No, it is not clear. In practice, more than once I have come across couples in which one person understands everything completely, but the second partner does not understand at all what the first is talking about, and for some reason gets angry, becoming incongruent and not sincere for the first. This gives rise to all sorts of false ideas or “guesses.” (For example: Partner A, returning home from work, often tells Partner B about the past working day. Partner B, with a face filled with anger and hatred, sudden movements and attempts to avoid the conversation (literally), listens to Partner A. Partner A sees such manifestations of Partner B , but interprets them completely differently. Partner B with a “range of feelings” tries to function normally next to Partner A for the rest of the day. After N amount of time, Partner A begins to notice that Partner B is not sincere, not congruent in reality. objective reasons for this behavior of Partner B, Partner A begins to use fantasy... Then quarrels, swearing, etc.) So what to do? First of all, ask yourself - why and for what purpose am I communicating with this person, what do I want to get from this communication, what is its purpose, what do I want to get? The second is not only to listen, but also to hear the interlocutor, to try to understand him. Third, be sincere. You can simply ask yourself “What do I want to say with this?”, “What is the point of conveying to my partner?”, it is possible that by asking yourself you will discover completely different motives for communication, other needs that you want to satisfy. And perhaps one of the most important - “The simpler - all the better". The simpler the interlocutor is in communication, the easier it is to understand him, therefore this rule works in your favor. Perhaps this article will help someone find those same meanings and convey them to others, and sincerely.