From the author: What does it mean to you to be a queen? To be famous, successful or cold and arrogant? Each of us women has the states of Lover, Mistress, Girl and Queen (according to Larisa Renard). And at the women's training, where we looked for these states, it turned out that for many (including me) it was not easy to find the Queen in ourselves. I tried to figure out why. And in my opinion, if we very strongly generalize, there are two big difficulties on the way to the state of the Queen. I’ll start with the meaning that we put into the word Queen. Queen - “Bold and luxurious, proud and independent, such a woman is self-confident and free from someone else's opinion. She knows her worth! She sees everything, understands everything and controls everything...” (from Larisa Renard’s website) I interpret it this way: the Queen’s state is, first of all, when you allow yourself to use your power without regard to other people’s opinions. And this is where difficulties creep in. Difficulty No. 1 is purely female: How many of us, dear women, are actually free from other people’s opinions? How many of us are there who allow ourselves to control someone and not think that we are losing the woman in us? The Internet is replete with trainings on the topic of femininity. The authors of trainings very often contrast femininity with authority. Power is clearly recognized in men. But it is not recognized in women. Women are only supposed to use indirect ways - “female wisdom” and “gentleness” (I believe this actually means manipulation), but in no case, with the help of power, to achieve their goal. I am not against wisdom as such - it is a very important and useful thing. I am against replacing one concept with another. Some of my colleagues in the shop suspect a powerful woman of envying a man’s penis and call her “phallic,” which generally frustrates me very much. Somehow I have not noticed such envy in women I know. Quite the contrary. Men were jealous of her. What if you don’t compete with men and at the same time use your power without being embarrassed or feeling guilty about it? There are many examples of such women. Both among the famous (my favorite example: Margaret Thatcher), and among us - ordinary women (I won’t point fingers at some of my friends and acquaintances :). Difficulty No. 2 is historical: Our totalitarian present past has taught us that power - this is total disrespect and disregard for the interests of those over whom you have power. And I draw a direct parallel: the Queen for many of us has become almost synonymous with arrogance and insensitivity. And this is also the right to cut off feedback from those “subordinates”, so as not to notice their lack of love and dissatisfaction with you. And also irresponsibility for one’s actions, no matter how cruel and/or criminal they may be. If this is so, then what kind of a cowardly Queen does one have to be to be afraid of feedback? And is this worthy of the Queen at all? And it turns out that our image of the Queen is insensitive, arrogant, unhappy in any relationship (both in her personal life and in her social life because you can’t let anyone near you, otherwise your status as a Queen will be ruined). And how do you like it? Does she look attractive? This is why it is so difficult for us to bring out our inner Queen. A queen with dignity and respect for herself and others. Knowing how to be alive, allowing yourself to make mistakes. Allowing yourself to be in power, bear responsibility for it and not feel guilty about your power. There is a queen in each of us. It is possible for each of us to be it. While remaining a woman. Staying true to yourself. God save the Queen!