This article is for those people who feel dissatisfied with relationships in their lives or are worried about their absence. I think every person deep down dreams of close relationships. And what is it? I understand intimacy in a relationship as a feeling of mutual understanding and comfort with another person. Plus, it is important that there is mutual interest between you. Of course, in such a context, feelings of calm, joy, pleasure, or maybe tenderness, an inner feeling of warmth may also appear. How do you understand that you feel good around someone? In my opinion, most answers to this question will mean being able to be yourself in a relationship with another person. Only you can give yourself this opportunity. Therefore, the process of building a close relationship with another person begins with building a close relationship with ourselves. By close relationship with myself I mean: - Attention to yourself, to your desires and needs; - The ability to realize your desires independently; - Understanding your needs and the ability to independently satisfy them; - The ability to cope with different emotional states; - Understanding why you need a relationship; - The ability to take care of yourself and support yourself; - The ability to relax alone. The ability to be alone is a good diagnostic sign of a close relationship with oneself. When you understand yourself in different states, know what you need at every moment of time, know how to please yourself and help yourself - then you can build truly close and adult relationships with another person. Close relationships with another person are: - Mutual interest; - Pleasure from interaction here and now; - Respect for your personal boundaries and the boundaries of another person; - The opportunity to talk about your relationship and the desires associated with your relationship; - The opportunity to talk about the emotions associated with your relationship; - The opportunity to enter into conflict with another person; - Lack of expectations from another. Each of you contributes to the relationship. If you are experiencing negative emotions related to your relationship, it is important to clarify what is causing these emotions and what you can do about them. Unpleasant experiences are often associated with unjustified expectations. And expectations, in turn, arise from the inability to openly discuss what is happening in the relationship and with you in this relationship. Many psychologists note that conflicts that arise in couples are in most cases associated with expectations and disappointments. To build and maintain close relationships, it is vital to talk. And you will probably face fears - what if the other person does not understand, will be offended, angry and, as a result, will reject you. Indeed, such a possibility exists and will always exist. But if your relationship is important to another person, he will, to the best of his ability, try to preserve and strengthen it. In close relationships, these processes are reciprocal. I think almost every person wants a relationship from the series “and they lived happily ever after...”. I want closeness, understanding, joy and happiness next to another person, a feeling of reliable support, protection, support and security. But it is impossible to build this once and for all. Relationships are a process, and you need to build them throughout your life. Each of us changes throughout our lives, and close relationships also change, acquiring their own shades at different stages. Building and maintaining relationships is serious inner work. It is interesting, scary, trembling and very vital. Believe in the possibility of building a relationship and enjoy the process. After all, in a relationship there is life itself.