From the author: Essay on the topic of happiness))) Now is not the easiest period in my life. And difficulties arise in different areas. And recently it was a year since the death of a person very close to me - my dad. And in this difficult time, I thought... What kind of happiness is it? Was it even in my life? And what was this connected with? What should we rely on now? Recently, my old teenage dream came true: I began to be published in a good psychological magazine. The third edition is already on its way. And there is a reward for your efforts. Doubly nice. But it’s hard to call it happiness. I thought...Why? But because it is connected with expectations. It turned out that it was not just a matter of dreams. The fulfillment of a dream brought joy and delight. But they quickly evaporated. They turned out to be not very resourceful. Because there are a lot of fears and expectations about the profession. If I don’t achieve this and that, if I don’t do this, then... Then I’m terrible/bad/mediocre, so what else could it be. In general, she is not accepted by herself. My childhood story says “hello” to me again :) Good bad advice: if you want to become “impotent” in your profession, in your business, be afraid of failure, be afraid of screwing up, disgracing yourself. A decline in energy and abilities is guaranteed. Checked :) And then one moment from my life pops up in my memory. My daughter was 3 months old. It's May outside the window. The three of us lived in a room of 13 square meters. And also neighbors. And I was so happy!!! I remember, I take my daughter out of the crib, I smile, she smiles at me too. We wash up, I feed her, and accompany my husband to work. With our daughter in our arms, we look out the window, and there are green birch trees, birds are singing, the sun is bright, warm and light. Dad was alive, he came to visit his granddaughter EVERY day!!! I took advantage of a free minute at work. Sometimes he would run in for 3 minutes, just to kiss the top of my head. And there were no excuses about cramped conditions, busyness, etc. I took my daughter and the stroller and we ran for a walk, to enjoy the morning: near our house in the mornings and evenings you can feel the breath of the forest! And that’s exactly what it was! It was happiness. I remember that time as the happiest in my life. And I understood why. Because the experience of joy was not “on something”. No achievements or merits, no expectations, even your own, from yourself. I simply loved: my daughter, husband, father, loved ones, our bright, cozy room, the sun and the smell of mowed grass under the window. I just left the house in what I was comfortable and comfortable in and enjoyed every breath. I enjoyed the love of my husband, daughter and father. Because these were just real feelings between us: we were just happy with each other. Happiness was simply looking into each other's eyes, hugging, spending time together, joking, breathing together, talking. What ruined my happiness? Or who? Me myself. I once believed that I had to live up to expectations. Be a good wife, mother. Then be a good specialist, bring joy/use/money. Happiness is not where I “should be...” When they say that happiness is inside, I kind of understand these simple words. But they are not simple. Where is it inside? What to rely on in order to find this coveted underside? Where to dig, where to pick? Look for attitudes and beliefs about how things should be. A good mother, a good wife, a good daughter/daughter-in-law, a good sister, a good specialist/professional, a good person, tear down these kasimats! And it’s better with the support of people who understand. That’s where Shambhala lies. Hidden under these idols. As long as I didn’t think for a second about whether I was a good mother, I was happy and my child felt good. And in general, it becomes absurd to find out how correct everything was. As long as I don’t delve into what I owe as a daughter, and what my parents owe me, I’m happy to be in a relationship with loved ones. (here we are not talking about the extreme mechanism of denial!) It was precisely a joyful existence in contact with people. There is either “happiness to be” or “there must be...”. That's the difference.