HOW TO LIVE ANGER WITHOUT DAMAGE TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS Dedicated to adults and their children... In light of recent events, I hear not only about fear and anxiety, but also about anger. Sometimes this anger covers up powerlessness, fear, pain. So this is how to deal with it so that no one gets hurt. When fists come in, this is her reaction. So. First, discover, determine that it is anger, answer the questions: “What or who are you angry at? What caused the anger?” How do you feel it in your body? If it’s difficult to do this yourself, then a psychologist will come to the rescue. You can say: “Now I’m angry at... or because...”. So to speak, legalize anger. You can attract another, ask him to listen. If this happens in a conflict, then speak, use “I messages”: “I am angry with you for this.. or I am angry..”, i.e. talk about yourself, bypassing the expressions: “You are so and so...” Conflict definitely cannot be avoided in this case. It is necessary to talk about your feelings, emotions, to indicate how you feel in this situation. If the anger does not go away, you can direct this energy (and there is a lot of it!) into sports, dancing, singing, you can simply stomp your feet, shout. You can also draw, sculpt (art therapy comes in handy here), and meditate. And tears will also be in place here! Children are a special category, and how can they live it without directing it at themselves or others. Children learn to understand that they are thanks to their parents/other people who replace them, who should call what it is: “You’re angry right now...” (with other emotions as well) Children need to understand what’s wrong with them. But sometimes parents extinguish it in the bud for some reason of their own; maybe it’s difficult for them to withstand the anger of another, so they do everything with the child to prevent it from happening, and then the child no longer has access to this, hence other problems. For the child. It’s difficult to cope with anger on your own; parents, educators, educators, and psychologists come to the rescue. Using the same methods that I wrote above for adults are also applicable to children, only here the help of an adult is required. Steps:• help the child direct aggression in an acceptable direction: stomp, scream, tear paper, etc. Important! do not put a ban on “hitting is not allowed.” • do not leave the child alone with his feelings, be close. If, of course, the child wants to be alone, give him the opportunity to leave and return. • talk to the child about what upset him and made him suffer. • express sympathy and regret: “I’m sorry that it didn’t turn out the way you wanted.” Give the child the opportunity to be sad and cry to his heart's content. • When the emotional peak subsides, think with him about what actions he can take to satisfy his need. Direct his attention and energy into steps and actions. IMPORTANT! -Accept the child not only as flexible and “good”, but also in various states and feelings. -Exclude all labels - “crybaby”, “fighter”, “offender”. Labels make the child conform to them. - Emphasize the child’s strength and skills. -Give the child the opportunity to show aggression in the game - hunters, predators, etc. In expressive play, aggression is not fueled, but played out. - Allow the child to defend himself, his boundaries, communicate what is not satisfactory in the actions towards him, be it adults or other children. - Withstand the manifestation of strong feelings by the child. • Show an example of how YOU live through your anger and aggression. Aggression is characteristic of all living things. The energy of aggression is necessary to realize one’s own desires and protect oneself. Suppressed aggression not only deprives life of joy and courage, but also poses a danger with its hidden “radioactive radiation.”».