Do you think that your spouse or boyfriend no longer loves you, has become insensitive, cold and distant? Do you think that he is deliberately behaving in an unpleasant way just to annoy you? You believe that he simply does not know how to show truly warm feelings or does not feel them at all towards you? If you get to know yourself at least a little, then I am sure that this article will allow you to look at the situation a little differently and realize that not always your fears for relationships have real grounds. So, let's start with the fact that men and women are created equal, but not the same. “He discovered America too for me,” many will say with a grin, but don’t rush. If everything is so obvious and simply, why in practice do conflicts, misunderstandings, resentments and frustrations constantly arise? No one will argue that men are different, but very few women can even believe how significant these differences are, and even fewer are able to feel peace with from a man’s point of view. But this is precisely what allows one to solve a huge number of “unsolvable” problems at once. Recognizing the fact of differences is the first step towards mutual understanding with a partner. The second step is to believe that these differences are very, very significant. The third step is acceptance these differences (you can admit a fact, believe in something, but not be ready to accept it), i.e. willingness to come to terms with them. And finally, the fourth step is the ability to feel your partner’s experiences at a time when you are in opposition (in a state of argument, conflict, serious misunderstanding, etc.). And now let’s go over these points a little more details. Step 1. Recognizing the fact of differences With this point, things are usually going very well. Who doesn’t now repeat that “We are different!” All men know that “women are strange”, and all women know that “men are strange”. At the everyday level, everyone likes to talk about this, but if understanding stops there stage, then men believe that a woman is some kind of abnormal creature with deviations, and women - on the contrary, that a man is a strange, inexplicable mistake of nature. Simply put, one sex treats the characteristics of the other as some kind of “stupidity” , whims and deviation. It is not surprising that with such an attitude towards each other it is almost impossible to find a common language. Step 2. Believe that these differences are very, very significant. Fewer people reach this step. Not all of those who recognize the fact of the differences can believe how great they are. The problem here is that it simply cannot be believed, it seems completely absurd, contrary to common sense. “Obviously, this cannot be understood in any other way …” “It can’t be that he really thinks so!” “Are you kidding me, do you think I’ll believe that’s what you meant?!” These kinds of questions and exclamations arise when you recognize the fact of differences, but do not understand their depth. This is why you cannot believe in the true meaning of the words and actions of another person. Moreover, you don’t even believe that he had certain motives for specific actions and inactions. Therefore, everything in your partner that does not fit into your perception of life, you cut off and declare impossible, attributing to his behavior and words the meaning that you have invested it would be you, not him. This is a huge mistake, because of which a strong impression is created that you are speaking to a man in different languages. This is partly true, but this is the topic of other articles. Step 3. Accept these differences This is already a fairly high level to which you should strive if the first two stages are left behind. What does it mean to “accept differences?” This means that you need to come to terms with them. It’s not easy, but you need to understand that there are certain features in the behavior of men and women that, in general, cannot be changed and are characteristic to one degree or another of all representatives of one or another sex. If you successfully passed Step 2 and believed that this is so, then here you need to consolidate this belief with appropriate behavior. How exactly? - This means that