From the author: How to survive a child’s adolescence? How to help a teenager go through the period of growing up? About this here Child-rearing styles that came from the 20th century are undergoing enormous changes in the present century. This is felt today by those parents who are now 40 and above. They were raised by parents with a Soviet psychology, most of them young, who transferred a similar style of education from their parents to their own family. As practice shows, such an approach often fails at present, which is why it is difficult for parents with their own children, and for children with their own parents. An important reason for the difficult relationships between children and parents in the family is, in my opinion, difficult relationships between parents, single-parent families, parents living together with grandparents, etc. Well, the most difficult period for children and parents in the family is adolescence. Adolescence is a difficult period for a child and for parents, since it is a special period in the life of every growing person. About adolescence we can say this: “Imagine that you are holding a grenade in your hands, and if you pull the pin, you know what will happen.” The mistake parents make is that they often forget what will happen if they pull the pin, believing that, as adults, they have the right to behave with teenagers as they see fit, for example, without taking them into account. Every parent who has a teenager in the family must understand that it is not possible to stop the teenage process; one must accept it and try to help the child survive this period, if not painlessly, then at least mitigate it. The fact is that the problems of adolescence are often not dependent on from the child himself. During this period, the balance of the “body-intelligence” system is disrupted; this occurs due to physiology (the child’s body is undergoing restructuring). However, these are not only physical changes, but also psychological ones. And they manifest themselves in the child’s behavior; he becomes nervous, intolerant, irritable. From the point of view of adults, the child becomes obnoxious, lazy and stubborn. Often the child himself does not understand what is happening to him; for many teenagers during this period, it is as if the “brakes” stop turning on. This is a period of manifestation of various forms of behavior from isolation to aggression, which is often directed outward. Teenagers themselves suffer from this; during this period, many simply hate themselves, their body, their appearance, their voice, etc. Unfortunately, parents often cannot build relationships with a teenager in the family, but during this period they need help. Of course, you can allow the child to do whatever he wants, and then he will get an experience that is undesirable to have in general in life, or you can take a different path. I always suggest that parents “sit down at the negotiating table” in order to come to an agreement with teenagers. Despite the fact that they do not listen to adults, they need to be explained that they shouldn’t do this, explain why they shouldn’t do this, even if they have to argue with them. Modern teenagers are not the same as you were when you were a child, so parents need to “grow up” with their children even before adolescence. By the word “grow” we must understand the restructuring of the parents in each period of the child, and then adolescence will not be unexpected for you. A child in adolescence has a pronounced demand for independence, so expand the boundaries of his rights, but place responsibility on him by increasing the requirements, for example, to study. Increasing demands implies control. Their implementation needs to be monitored more closely. It is necessary to come to an agreement with the teenager so as not to infringe on their rights, but also not to allow them to violate the line that lies invisibly between children and parents. Parents, this is an example of adult behavior. Don’t fight with your own child, accept him for who he is. Also in relationships with teenagers, it is important what parents say, in what tone they say it, it is also important for a teenager that they are interested in him, talk to him,!