I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

From the author: Answers to questions from readers Please tell me how to help a person if he does not know what to do in a certain situation - cannot answer questions himself❓In In this question, I hear a desire to help a person who is looking for an answer to his questions and does not find it. Each of us faces such a situation at some point in our lives. And here there are several options on what to do: 1⃣The best is to calm down and take a break, taking a few steps back. For example, a mouse, passing through a maze and finding itself in a dead end, begins to frantically rush against the wall of the maze. She literally hits the wall, trying to break through it. The more effort she makes, the stronger her anxiety and despair and the less strength she has left. People often unconsciously begin to behave like this mouse; there is even an expression: “breaking through a wall with your forehead.” But, if a mouse could think (and a person can😉), then it could go back a few steps and continue its path through the maze in search of a way out. When a client comes to me for a consultation in a state of crisis (deadlock), this is what I suggest doing: slow down and remember what happened a little earlier. In this way, a person leaves the problem space and can see new options for a solution. 2⃣ Another great way is to ask a person the following question: - If I had this situation/problem, what would you advise? When giving advice to you, a person, due to the projection mechanism, is actually giving advice to himself, which contains the answer. In this case, the “observer effect” will also work and it will be possible to see your problem from the outside. 3⃣ Written practices work well in this situation; there are a lot of them. And here is one of them: you can ask one of the exciting questions to yourself before going to bed. In the morning, immediately upon waking, make a note in the notebook you prepared the night before. You need to write everything that comes to mind within 5 minutes. It is better to adhere to this practice for some time until new ideas appear in solving the issue. One client made the practice a daily ritual for a year. The results were so impressive that she continues the practice and has no plans to quit. How it works: We always have a lot of automatic thoughts spinning in our heads. And by “putting” them on paper, we free up internal space for new, deeper thoughts. We begin to understand ourselves much better.4⃣It is also useful to talk to a friend who will simply listen carefully without interrupting or giving advice. If it is not a friend, but a consultant, then this is even better because he knows active listening techniques. Not only listens carefully, but also summarizes what was said. And in this case, freeing up space for new thoughts, and therefore solutions, works.5⃣To answer the question, you can use the resources of the unconscious: draw a problem and then talk about it. Or work with metaphorical cards: after asking a question, pull out a card and tell what the person sees on it and how what is depicted is related to the answer to his question. Sometimes I use my resource by creating a therapeutic fairy tale about a client’s problem (link at the end of the article). You too can start composing your own fairy tale, which quite possibly will lead to the necessary answers. 6⃣ There is an excellent technique based on Jung’s free association method. I will provide a link to this technique at the end of the article. In any case, only the person himself has the answers and you just need to help him “get them.” This can best be done by a specialist who has been specially trained in this - a psychologist or psychotherapist. He will also help expand the vision and see details that are ignored by the consciousness due to working attention filters. Working with emotions, a person will become better understandable but motives and values, and this always clarifies understanding. By contacting a specialist, we can receive competent and qualified assistance. This saves a lot of time and