Psychologist and psychotherapist (a psychologist trained in long-term work with the client’s deep needs, not to be confused with a medical psychotherapist who prescribes medications) is a very personal profession. It is often said that a psychologist works by himself. What does this mean and how does it affect those requests that the client decides to work through in therapy, and those that are not resolved? And does it influence? Opinions differ on the answer to these questions. In this article I will outline my purely subjective, rather client-based, vision of working with a therapist, but passed through my professional experience and framed by professional knowledge. Already at the stage of choosing a therapist, if the client does this consciously and uses his right to choose, and does not go to The client chooses the first psychologist he comes across, based on some of his preferences and, rather, fantasies about what the result will be in therapy. Here you can consider a hidden (or explicit, if the client voices it) request for therapy: “I want to be like you! I want to learn from you!” For example, unmarried girls and women with a desire to get out can come to married female psychologists married, sometimes without even realizing it. Or women who do not have a good relationship with their husband may come to such a psychologist with the fantasy that “the psychologist definitely has an ideal relationship with her husband, she knows how to do it and will teach me.” Or people going through a divorce, one of the requirements for a psychologist is the experience of a divorce, and a successful one at that. Clients themselves dream up success. And so in many ways. Those who want to be successful and famous choose, in their opinion, a successful and famous psychologist and the like. Now imagine a situation in which a woman who does not want to have children, but is not yet aware of this, comes to therapy with a psychologist who also does not have children, but really wants to. The client fantasizes that a psychologist has the same position as her, and therefore goes to her for support and acceptance of her position. And if the client herself is not very aware of her “childfree” position, but explains her reluctance as “now is not the time,” “she needs to improve her health,” and the like, then the therapeutic work will happen and will even be effective to some extent. They can work on "getting healthy" and choosing the best time, which is also a good thing. But they will not get to the true essence, the cause, the request for therapy. It is with this therapist, here and now. Therefore, I believe that the choice of therapist is important. During the first course of therapy, it is less important than during subsequent courses. And yes, you can change the therapist. In my opinion, it even needs to be changed! In certain cases it is simply necessary. Each person gives us something of his own, what he has. We take it, give something in return, exchange it. Sometimes this exchange is exhausted and it is important to understand and acknowledge this. Sometimes a fundamental difference is revealed in the view of the world and in personal values. If you ignore this difference, it will develop into tension and rejection. It is important to clarify the discovered difference with the therapist, to realize, in Gestalt language this is called “reaching the contact boundary.” Psychologists, in theory, should be trained in this and ready to self-disclose and accept a different point of view. But in reality it doesn’t always work out. It is possible and important to talk about difference, discuss, ask, but it is impossible to force one to abandon it and remake oneself. This is already violence. Violence in any relationship is unacceptable. A relationship with a psychologist is also a relationship and sometimes very significant. PS The client story described in the article is fictitious. All matches are random.