Have you noticed how little children easily and happily make plans? “I will have a wife, two children, a big bright house, a red car and a fluffy dog. No, two dogs! There will also be its own bakery and car service center. Every summer we will go to the sea. For you, mom, I’ll buy a dacha, and for dad, a new car.” The kid feels strong, and his goals are real and achievable. Time passes, and some children grow up and start families, open businesses, build houses, plant trees. And For some children, as they grow older, conversations about the future become quieter and less frequent. Plans are gradually transformed into dreams, which may someday come true, but perhaps not. Doubts, fears, disappointments appear, and life becomes a struggle, as a result of which by the age of forty, dreams remain dreams and you no longer really want anything. Why does some have everything and others nothing? Why is it that for some a problem is a magic pedal that gives acceleration, and for others it is a concrete slab nailing it to the ground? Why do some people become stronger over the years, while others become weaker? It all starts with our life position, which is formed from childhood under the influence of parents, is appropriated by the psyche as our own and often duplicates the position of significant adults: Petitioner. He prays, asks, waits for the help of a wizard or Santa Claus, hopes for a miracle. Shows infantility and learned helplessness. Destructive position. Victim. Disappointed petitioner. He takes offense at life for its injustice, suffers, humbles himself, endures. Shows learned helplessness. Destructive position. Aggressor. A bitter petitioner. He fights with life and people, attacks, punishes for injustice. Destructive position. Student. An evolving supplicant. Realizes, learns lessons, gains experience. Creative position. Owner. Manages his attitude and condition. Creates its own reality. Valid. Creative position. Each of these positions gives rise to a constant internal dialogue, conclusions, emotional state, actions (or inaction), and results. And, of course, it has its advantages (hidden benefits). So, the victim says to himself: “Why do I need all this?”, draws conclusions - “There is something wrong with me. Others are worthy, but I am not. I’ll never be lucky,” gets upset, feels sorry for himself, gets offended, worries, cries. Gives up sports, eats, drinks, hangs out on the Internet, suffers abuse. And as a result, he remains in a job he doesn’t like, alone or in a relationship with a rapist, doesn’t defend personal boundaries, and lives in poverty. But at the same time it has such bonuses as pity, sympathy, help from others, shifting responsibility, justifying inaction. So, the first thing you need to do is to honestly understand your position in life, the pros and cons that it gives. Take the path of changing your position from destructive to creative. Then we need to realize that the world is “hitting” the patient so that we pay attention to it and cure it. We develop only in conditions of challenge. The greatest opportunities for development come in the form of adversity. The world, like a wise teacher, will explain the same lesson until it is finally learned. If we quickly move into a learner's position, begin to notice, recognize and learn lessons, take opportunities, take advantage of resources and take action, life begins to change. A crisis is a revelation that shows us what our lives really are like. He screams for the need for change. Encourages you to see reality, realize the lesson, see the possibilities, learn to think and respond in new ways to change your life. But at the same time, the crisis seems to be hitting the bottom. Narrows the focus of attention. A person sees only a fragment of a situation (here and now) and does not see its beginning, middle and end. Therefore, the next thing to do is to realize that we are more than this situation, distance ourselves from it and see it entirely in the format of the existing dynamics. For example: the essence of the crisis is the complete absence of the “Relationships” sphere. Life position - Victim. “I don’t have a relationship. Why do I have.