From the author: Emotional abuse of mothers against their sons is a taboo topic, harsh and relevant. The largest number of shares on the Internet in 2 years. First time here from the author. RAPEED MENOver the past decades, the world has begun to talk more openly about violence against women and children. Entire social programs are being created to protect victims of violence. Women who have experienced physical or sexual violence no longer hide their faces, but become leaders of these movements. We all learn to sympathize and support them. We learn not to be tolerant of rapists, but to stop them, even if it looks harsh. We are not quite ready to understand their motives yet, but this may not be necessary. There are things in this world that you just need to say “NO” clearly and clearly. In my work, I constantly encounter the fact that victims of violence feel guilty for what happened. Good people opaquely hinted to them that it was their provocation that caused the violence. I will not deny that the behavior of the victim attracts the rapist. But there is a “golden rule” when working with violence: “VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS THE RAPIST’S BLAME.” No provocation justifies the fact that a person did not control his impulses and roughly and unceremoniously violated the boundaries of another who is weaker than him. This is why working with people who were beaten as children or, even worse, sexually used and raped, is extremely difficult. These wounds do not heal completely, it seems that they never do. And now, I come to the main thing that I wanted to write about today. This is violence against men. I mean the emotional violence of mothers against their sons. “Mom is sacred” I often heard from different men. Behind this phrase there may be a truly beautiful image of a strong and loving mother. And then the man will not talk about the holiness of a woman. He will simply be a good husband and father. Another version of the story is about how a real monster in a female form is hiding behind a holy image. People sometimes ask me, is there a female version of Bluebeard? Yes. Both in life and in my office, I have met many adult men who are still in the power of this monster. A thick rope called guilt hangs around their necks, the other end of which is in the small and tenacious hands of their mothers. Every impulse towards freedom caused a sharp retaliation, and these men learned to be predictable, consistent and very reliable. This reliability is by no means a consequence of a conscious choice , this is a vital necessity so as not to completely suffocate and hang on this rope, giving up your soul to God. No, not God...mom. After all, their soul belongs to her. She gave birth, which means she is the full owner of both soul and body. I meet the mother of one of my childhood friends, who still lives with her mother. Well, I ask, Vanechka (Petechka, Vasenka) didn’t get married? “Oh, don’t even talk about it,” she replies, “I want grandchildren, but he, the parasite, doesn’t want to get married! I should feel sorry for the old lady, but I can’t.” Because I know that not only did Vanechka get married, it was not safe for him to even date girls. I remember how 30 years ago this sweet old lady (younger, of course) came running to school to expose the “spoiled” girl Yulia, with whom Vanechka kissed on a trip to Dombay. You ask, how did she know about this? Well, wiretapping the phone, checking the briefcase, going through pockets - this is a common thing for such mothers. And this happened in Soviet times and ended with a class hour with the topic “Sex Education for Teenagers”, a parent meeting with a public flogging of Yulia’s mother, and in the end, Yulia’s transfer to another school out of shame. Having received unlimited power over the boy she gave birth to, a woman risks taking out on him all her dissatisfaction and anger associated with men. It is he who will now answer for all sins, and it is he who will justify all her hopes. Now she will definitely raise him in love, but the main thing is respect for a woman. She will definitely make him respect herself, because it is such a noble cause - to raise a real man. And this…