From the author: About the crisis of 3 years in children. What causes it, what are the signs of a crisis and advice to parents on how to easily survive it. The baby begins to want to act independently, hence the child’s constant phrase “I myself.” At the same time, he wants to do what his parents do, even if it is obviously beyond his power. After all, his parents are an example of everything to him. The child has his own desires, he already understands the difference between “I want” and “should.” Signs of a 3-year-old crisis Interest in his image in the mirror. The baby begins to care what he looks like and how others see him. Negativism. If parents offer to do something, the child will do exactly the opposite. Negativism is such manifestations in a child’s behavior when he does not want to do something just because one of the adults suggested it. It is important to distinguish from disobedience and understand that this will pass when the crisis is lived through. Stubbornness. A child insists on something not because he wants to, but because he demanded it, he is bound by his original decision. The child’s personality begins to emerge and the baby demands that his personality be taken into account. Obstinacy. Close to negativism and stubbornness, but has specific characteristics. Obstinacy is more generalized and more impersonal in nature. This is a protest against the order that exists at home: against the norms of upbringing, the way of life that developed before the age of three. Self-will. The desire to separate from parents. This is not the kind of separation that occurs during the crisis of 14 years, but the beginnings are already being formed. The child himself wants to do something. We are talking about the independence of intention and design. Devaluation of adults: the child begins to swear, tease and call parents names. Protest-rebellion, which manifests itself in frequent quarrels with parents. The child is in a state of war and conflict with others. The desire for despotism. The child forces his parents to do everything he demands. In relation to younger sisters and brothers, despotism manifests itself as jealousy. Tips for parents. How to help your child survive the crisis: Be gentler and more patient in your upbringing, give your child more freedom and choice, give up overprotection. Adhere to the same parenting tactics. It is extremely important that mom and dad are at the same time. Discuss your views on certain issues in advance with your spouse, and make the same demands on your child. If your child has an outburst of anger, tears, or hysterics, show calm and patience. Don’t allow yourself to scream and lash out in response; if the child sees your calmness, he will calm down faster in response. The child must see that screaming, tears and hysterics will not be able to manipulate parents. Children who are hysterical do not need to be punished. Your screaming and swearing will only intensify the hysteria. The child will calm down on his own when he realizes that his tears have no effect on you. Try not to argue with your child. Don't try to forcefully break his stubbornness. Remember that the child is testing you. Previously, the child was allowed almost everything, but now much is prohibited, as a result of which the child tries to build a new system of relationships with adults and the outside world. The child learns from his parents to defend his point of view and independence. Don't boss your child around! He won't stand for it. This will only lead to nervous tension. Give your child the opportunity to be independent (for example, dress and undress himself, let him decide whether to eat now or not, do not force him to sit at the table. Assign him simple tasks: water the flowers, set the table, sweep the floor, etc. Give in little things. If at lunch the child wants to eat the main dish first and then the soup, let him, nothing bad will happen. Look for compromises and give the child the right to choose. Remember, any excessive care kills the child’s initiative. Offer your help to the child, and do not do everything for him. Show your child your love, praise him more often, hug him..