From the author: Olga Sergeevna Moskalenko How to help your child become happy? There is nothing more important for a child than the sincere, unconditional love of his parents. Just as he cannot physically survive without food and water, so without love and acceptance he cannot become a full-fledged person - feel like the author of his life. Parents are responsible for the experience that the child will receive in the family. Some parents with “good intentions” to raise their child correctly often displace their own aggression on him. This can lead to children taking this substitution of love for aggression at face value, as if this were genuine parental love, and then transfer this experience into their lives. There are no perfect parents. To one degree or another, they can negatively influence the child with their attitudes (set in their childhood), their fears, and their desire to solve for the child all his problems that have not yet begun. Even with the best intentions, parents often make huge mistakes that negatively affect the harmonious spiritual and moral development of the child. Throughout our lives, we adults have to overcome what was laid down in the first six years of life. All mothers, or expectant mothers, should know that the most wonderful thing they can do for their children is to maintain a family climate in which the child feels completely loved by the people closest to his life, to give the child such a measure of love and emotional support that will be enough for him to then grow and develop independently. A child needs love like sunlight for a flower: if there is not enough of it, the flower does not develop fully, gets sick and suffers. It is completely normal that parents can be angry with their baby for some misdeeds, but at the same time they do not stop loving him. It is important to make it clear to the child that it is not he who is so bad, but his act or action is undesirable and is not accepted in society. For example, your child hit another child with a stick - your task is to explain to the child that his actions are very bad, and those who do this are not accepted in our world. It is not him who is not accepted, but those who do this! He is not a bad child, but his action was negative. At the same time, it doesn’t hurt to remind your child how much you love and support him, even if he makes mistakes and does the wrong things - after all, he is just learning and will try different models of behavior. One of the reasons why parents are angry with their children is unjustified expectations. Parents' feeling that their children do not reach the “required level” often becomes the main reason for conflicts. Many parents view their children as chattel, as a form of ownership. They believe that children behave properly only when they say and do what their parents want them to do. Children's behavior that diverges from parents' expectations causes their criticism. This lays the foundation for his personal problems in the future: many of us know people who, by constantly currying favor with significant elders (boss at work, priests), try to ingratiate themselves, “to justify trust.” Unfortunately, no one told them that they don’t need to justify their trust. Love your children simply for who they are! Accept them as they are! You should not try to destroy their inner world with your own fears and complexes. Each baby is unique: with his own dreams, hobbies, talents; with your illnesses, mistakes and fears. There is no other child in the world just like yours - special. Always remember this. The work of a psychologist and psychotherapist, by and large, is helping young parents accept their children, as well as adults: correcting the mistakes that their parents made towards them in childhood. As a result of these mistakes, they developed problems and complexes in adulthood that prevented them from being happy..