How not to destroy your relationships in a situation of stress? We all live differently and cope (or not cope) with stress, with situations of uncertainty, with losses. Someone needs communication, hugs and support. Someone in privacy and personal space. Someone is like this, sometimes like that. And this is normal. It can be difficult in a family when there is more than 1 of us and our reactions and needs to stress are different. Each of us has a desire for our relationships in difficult moments of life to automatically become our haven and an outlet. And when the level of external tension and stress grows, and resources become scarcer, we need even more urgently for our partner to understand us, not ask for what we don’t have the strength to do, hug when necessary and leave alone when necessary. Ideal, if it happens “by itself”. Someone will even say: “it’s normal if it happens on its own,” but no. The difficulty is that when the need is great in our inner world, it is assigned a special status. “Am I asking a lot!?”, “All normal families have this!”, “Why have a family at all if this (so simple it would seem) is not there” - we are righteously indignant if our partner didn’t guess, didn’t get it and didn’t guess. We we can get irritated, feel vulnerable, anxious... and begin to demand! Sound familiar? Our need dictates to us that we have a right. We “fall out” of reality, we don’t see our partner, we only feel this important need of ours. Remember: Demands always aggravate tension in relationships. Arguments do not help the feeling of closeness. Each of us is worthy of love and frightening, forcing a partner, provoking guilt or shame in him - you do not increase the amount of love and security in a relationship. What can you do?✅ You can calm yourself down a little (it’s good if you have self-support skills)✅ Take a break✅ Look at your loved one and try to see him (What condition is he in?). ✅ Ask for what you need. For example: “I want...(the most important thing) and it’s important for me to get it from you,” and if you have the strength: “what is important to you from me now?” Having thrown out demands from the usual scheme, do not strengthening yourself with arguments, and exposing your vulnerability, there is a chance to start exchanging important things. And in difficult situations, stay close and become deeper as a couple. Take care of yourself!