When experiencing loss, we are very similar, which means we are not alone. This means that everything is fine with us and our feelings. There is a lot of information around about how to build relationships correctly, what mistakes you can make or what steps to take to improve them. But there is not much information about how to end a relationship correctly, and even less about how to survive a difficult period after a breakup, how to help yourself. Breakup is a very difficult topic, if only because it brings a lot of painful feelings. And not every breakup is healed by time. Unfortunately, there is no specific algorithm, after going through which you can let go of the person you love or with whom you had plans, hopes, expectations for the future. Everyone experiences periods of separation in their own way. But, basically, people stick to one of three options: Cry your eyes out in the hope and expectation that everything will return and get stuck in these experiences. I know cases when people were in feelings of sadness and melancholy for several years. Devalue past relationships and immediately move on. Showing with all my appearance to myself and those around me that everything is fine, I’m not that upset. Draw some conclusions for yourself, learn from the experience and move on when you are ready for it. Most often, people go first along the first, then along the second path, while simultaneously starting new relationships that may end in the same way. But there are also those who choose the third option. I would like to dwell on it in more detail. It includes three main steps that should be taken: self-care, processing grief, proactivity. A proactive attitude towards life means that your suffering should not exclude others life. When we are in a state of acute pain, then this pain and suffering are of great value to us. Everything else seems to fade before consciousness and does not matter, there are only acute experiences that seem to never pass. At this time, you can hear various tips from your loved ones on how to cheer yourself up: go to a beauty salon, go on a picnic with friends, update your wardrobe. But it may seem to you that all this entertainment and activity no longer makes any sense. Moreover, you may have a feeling of betrayal in relation to your feelings, to your suffering, if you follow their advice. In fact, a proactive attitude towards yourself and helping yourself to just live does not devalue suffering in any way, does not make it, unfortunately , less, but does not fill your whole life with them. Give yourself the right to something else besides suffering. Let your life consist of at least something else. Not only from grief and the obligatory things necessary for survival, but also from some joyful events: meetings with friends, walks, creative activities, whatever. Everything that brings you laughter and joy, because after a while everything will be so. When breaking up, death of a loved one or betrayal, the mechanism of grief works the same way. And when loved ones say: “Why are you so worried? No one died!” In fact, for you, he died. The relationship died, and with it, part of what you put into it (i.e., a part of you). A person can experience a breakup just like the death of a loved one. Grief cannot be left to chance. It is better to treat it as labor (work). We must admit that now, for some time, it will be bad. And, for a while, open this door. Try to think about this: only by going into these experiences will you be able to get out of them. You won’t be able to avoid touching them and skip this period; you won’t be able to ignore them, dragging them around with you. The paradox of grief is that in order to cope with it, you should under no circumstances pretend that it doesn’t exist. Because suppressed, unlived grief can manifest itself in the form of illnesses, neuroses, and various disorders. There are no correct ways to express grief. Everyone expresses it as they can and as they need. During grief, it is normal to be angry, to hate the one you love, not