From the author: On the one hand, we want certainty and predictability) But there is another side - surprises at every step, just start noticing them)) How do we react to things what didn’t you expect? Balakhonskaya G.V. Audio version of the article here https://www.b17.ru/media/52218/ I think it’s no secret to anyone that life is full of surprises! What kind? Well, that’s why they are surprises, because you don’t know in advance :)) How sometimes unexpected it is for us is how another person perceives what we say. Sometimes you can’t even guess! It often turns out that we didn’t mean what he imagined at all! :) Or how we understand what was said to others. It also happens unexpectedly for another :)) Because people often fill what another person said/did with their own meaning and it is to this meaning that they react! Inconsistencies can be completely discouraging...! And when you understand this inconsistency, the first reaction is usually confusion. Well, or, let's say, surprise! Which, in turn, can give rise to a variety of feelings. There can be disappointment, irritation, fear, and resentment... But there can also be interest, curiosity, joy, and pleasure! :) In different ways , in general, it happens. What does this depend on, what do you think, dear friends? I will suggest that to a large extent our reaction depends on how we feel about ourselves. Shall we speculate? Here, for example, is a curious, but at the same time very, so to speak, visual, completely different in meaning understanding of the same words in this picture. It is, of course, funny, but...:)) This, of course, applies not only to what was said. And what you hear. This can apply to literally everything. And here’s another example. One person (let’s call him Vasya) begins some action. And another (Petya) expects this action to continue in his usual way. And Vasya suddenly (that is, for Petya - suddenly) continues his action according to -to your own. Not as Petya expected. As a result, Vasya and Petya cannot have a constructive dialogue. Well, or in order to establish this very constructive dialogue, efforts will have to be made on both sides. For example, the situation: Vasya, walking towards Petya, begins to raise his right hand. Petya, waiting for Vasya’s greeting handshake, is already preparing to shake Vasya’s hand - he also begins to raise his right hand. At this moment, Vasya sharply bends down and begins to straighten the lace on the shoe. Petya freezes for a moment with his hand outstretched. Which no one shakes, because Vasya is tying his shoelace. This is how Petya feels at this moment? What do you think, my dear readers? I’ll assume that Petya’s first reaction is confusion. Confusion. Experts call this condition “confused trance.” In general, a completely standard situation with a greeting, usual in a male environment, suddenly went in an atypical way. Petya probably had a natural expectation that he and Vasya would shake hands hands. But how can the situation develop further? And the options here can be very different. And it depends on both Petya and Vasya! From both! Maybe Vasya is so “witty” and decided to laugh at Petya, putting him in an awkward position. Anything can happen. We don’t know what kind of people Vasya and Petya are. And what kind of relationship do they have? But, as an option, Vasya’s shoelace could really come undone at the most inopportune moment. And then, having tied it, Vasya straightened up and greeted Petya with a minute delay, and everyone laughed at the funny thing that had happened. That is, if Petya wasn’t offended and didn’t demonstratively remove his hands in your pockets. What am I getting at, dear friends? The fact that our expectations sometimes play a bad joke on us. Of course, it is impossible to get rid of expectations altogether. We all have our own ideas about how it happens and how it doesn’t happen. Or how it should be and how it shouldn't. And the expectations corresponding to this. And we, naturally, are internally determined that things will go the way we are used to, that they will go. But it goes this way... how to put it... not always. Because people and circumstances are different -