Raising a child places a certain responsibility on the parents. Parents feel that their child’s life depends only on them, and therefore they must teach him everything that is most correct, most necessary and most important. Some believe that this is their main purpose, their duty is to pass on to their children all their experience, all their knowledge, all the best; to make sure that children live better than they lived themselves. Behind this good intention there is a very big problem - this desire can make the child’s life the way the parents imagine it. And this is unlikely to make the child happy. For example, a child with sparkling eyes watches how they play football, you watch how they play the violin. Therefore, you take the child by the hand and lead him to music school. Don't expect him to achieve great success. Rather, you will only teach him to cope with the fact that his desires are oppressed. It is also possible that he will learn to defend his individuality in different ways: skip classes, get sick, lie, scandal, disobey and cry. Perhaps he will reconcile and submit to your demands. In this case, you will see less and less fire in his eyes, the desire to live, do something and rejoice. What is the result? Doesn't it seem that in this way you force the child to do what you like? Maybe you should learn to play the violin yourself, and let your child play football? If you are a gardener and know exactly how to make your flowers the most wonderful, great. But imagine that a unique, unknown flower grows in your garden, about which you know absolutely nothing. In this case, are you not embarrassed by your complete confidence, because of which you insistently offer for this uniqueness what is good for others? Or, perhaps, what you would like yourself? If you can consider his uniqueness in a child, and treat it with respect, then the process of his development will be harmonious, joyful for you and useful for him. If you definitely want to insist on your own, inviting your child to fulfill those requirements that you consider the most important and most necessary, demanding from him success and achievements that are valuable to you, be sure to ask yourself the question: “Who am I doing this for? Who needs this? If, nevertheless, more to you than to the child, it means that you are not acting in unison with his inner nature, but rather in unison with your own. It is a pity that, as a rule, the goals of parents and children do not coincide. This is a fairly common situation: in such cases we are talking about a certain contradiction between individuality and sociality. Society, as a rule, does not value or accept individuality; it is much more convenient to “be like everyone else” and “be for everyone.” Therefore, individuality on its path encounters much more obstacles than behavior that is approved by the majority. Despite this, people come to themselves, learn to recognize their inner impulses, and search for their purpose. It is important to understand that the psyche is a self-developing system, and the main goal is movement towards oneself, and not towards society. Think about whether you want to be another obstacle on your child’s path to himself? Problematic situations also arise when adults do not understand, do not realize, or refuse to resolve their internal conflicts, difficulties and difficulties. The tension that arises due to this remains in the unconscious and is unconsciously transferred to the child. It has incredible power and directly, through suggestion, affects children. This tension forces children to solve their parents’ problems for them, to live their unlived lives. For example, one of the parents is a very vulnerable and insecure person who hides behind a mask of activity, dominance, success and submission of others. Refusing to see weakness and uncertainty in himself, he tries to force the child to be a leader, to be brave and active. Instead the child says?