How do you like the idea that having inadequately low self-esteem is beneficial? Psychologists usually distinguish four types of self-esteem. Underestimated: a person evaluates his qualities worse than others evaluate them. Healthy: its owner is confident in himself, knows his positive and negative sides well, does not underestimate or exaggerate any of them. Overestimated: a person believes that he is underestimated, takes credit for himself talents and qualities that have almost no relation to reality. Fluctuating: a person’s self-perception is different all the time and can jump from “God, I’m great, the whole world is at my feet” to “what a nightmare, I’m a complete insignificance and unworthy of living.” Self-esteem - this is not a constant, it can and does change depending on the psychological state and life circumstances. After all, if I’m already good enough, then I’ll have to do something about it (and this can be scary, inconvenient, etc.) Rebuild my life, choose for myself what is better, more interesting, more fun. I’ll have to carry out a whole transformation of my life. Sometimes, starting to work on your self-esteem and attitude towards yourself (these are different things), it’s about choosing a different environment, a different format of relationships, a different job, a different style and lifestyle. Of course, all this will not fall from the sky, for this you will have to take a series of efforts and actions. A metaphor with porridge came to my mind. Here you have porridge at home. You don’t like porridge, but when you want to eat, you’re ready to eat it too. And you like, well, let’s say, black caviar. But for black caviar you need to: a) earn money b) find out where high-quality caviar is sold c) go to the store or order delivery Therefore, By choosing low self-esteem and a bad attitude towards yourself, without trying to change anything, you are actually choosing a familiar lifestyle. Porridge that is in the refrigerator. And you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. And you seem to be full. Yes, it’s quite difficult to accept that people choose for themselves what destroys them. And that stability, whatever it may be, is often preferable to change if it requires work and investment. I think you know how easily negative habits arise, but try to instill useful patterns in yourself. As a result, low self-esteem is actually simple maintains the usual “homeostasis”, protects us from changes that require spending energy. What do you think? Clinical psychologist, cognitive behavioral therapist +7 906 236 24 07 Telegram, WhatsApp, Viber