Hi all! Now once a week on Instagram* I post anonymous client requests and give my vision and recommendations. Client request: I constantly start relationships with men, but all their goodness and positivity begins to infuriate me over time. And then I start coming up with reasons to quarrel. And when we quarrel, the man begins to interest me again. What's wrong with me? The letter was anonymous to the post office; questions and clarifications were not answered. Therefore, I will try to give my general vision. In this particular case, first of all, I think it is important to pay attention to the relationships in the family where the author grew up. That is, if the relationship was cold enough, then in adult life the person will unconsciously turn on the coldness. Because for a person it is something close and therefore safe. Also, if the parents were prone to alcohol and aggression, then unconsciously the person is constantly in anxiety and peace in relationships is alarming for him, because the reliance is on old experience. He will perceive care, affection and tenderness as something too close, perhaps he will not know how to deal with it, and perhaps he will reject it. The second part: at least it’s good to start realizing this. Start observing your mechanisms in relationships, then you may be able to stop and try something new, adapt creatively. Start exploring what tenderness, care, affection is (if your understanding of this is very blurred). Directly find out from people (preferably whose life you like) how it works for them, it is important to organize some other positive experience for yourself. Third part: long-term therapy with one therapist is very good for this request. Because this is precisely the experience of a long-term relationship, where everything can be gradually worked out: building trust, asking for and accepting care, seeing the other, his boundaries and himself, etc. This is a good experience of close relationships, which it will gradually be possible to rely on in relationships with the opposite sex in the future. It is important to note that the gender of the therapist does not matter here, because everything is about one thing about communication between people. Rather, what matters here is trust in the specialist. Ready to answer questions. If you want to ask your question, you can write to me in private messages or by email [email protected] and I will anonymously post a case with recommendations next Thursday. If you want to start exploring yourself now, sign up for your first meeting by phone number +79152285105 or through the form on the website www.ngorelova.ru* Instagram belongs to the company Meta, which is recognized as an extremist organization in Russia.