This skill will come in handy if there is an aggressive person nearby, or the role of the Victim is with you in life, but until you turn to a psychologist. Let me briefly remind you how a typical Victim looks and behaves: This is a dull, stooped person, external whose appearance demonstrates to others that he is weak and helpless. He is subject to frequent depression and is not confident in his decisions. The emotions inherent in the Victim are fear, resentment, envy and an immense sense of guilt. The Victim loves to suffer! And therefore the Victim has no: - personal boundaries, - no choice, - she is dependent on the opinions of others, - she does a lot to her own detriment. What to do if you recognize yourself in this description? Like one of my clients who contacted regarding the “strained” relationship with his wife. It turned out that their favorite scenario is “Victim - Aggressor” and the wife in every possible way provokes her husband into accepting the role of the Victim: she devalues ​​him, accuses him of all “sins”, prohibits him from showing emotions in the conflict, while reserving the right to anger and aggression.* In such situations, first of all, you need to pay attention to personal boundaries! As we remember, for the Victim they are blurred and this person is susceptible to the opinions of others. STOP at this point! To get rid of the position of the Victim, over and over again in a conversation with someone you have to learn to say NO if what the interlocutor offers does not suit you. (“Thank you, no. Sorry, no.” “I don’t need it,” etc.) The second is to be resistant to negative or unfair assessments of your interlocutor. Be able to withstand his negative emotions. And to do this, you need to allow yourself to have YOUR own feelings, to get to know them better. The third point is to learn to express your feelings in a conversation with your interlocutor. “I don’t like this conversation. Your words hurt me and upset me.” If the offensive tone in the conversation continues, decide to leave it. Especially if you can’t return your interlocutor to the main topic and he essentially doesn’t hear you. Remember that the Aggressor’s goal is to deprive you of support, impose a feeling of guilt and force you to make excuses or apologize. Don't follow his lead! The recommendations that I outlined above will help you with this. If the role of the Victim is always with you, and not situational, seek help from a psychologist. If we are talking about relationships, it often happens that instead of a real partner, people see their “shadows from the past” and, having dealt with the shadows, you can build a harmonious relationship with the same partner. In general, the role of the Victim is not a sentence, but a reason to get to know yourself better and regain responsibility for your life. What do you think? Share in the comments. And don’t forget to “like” the article if you liked it :) *client’s consent for publication has been obtained. All coincidences are random and not intentional.