He, she, despite all the obstacles, will be together until death separates them. Booee...)) Moreover, in one film: he/she can cheat, betray, deceive and behave as abusively as possible towards each other. But we still believe that everything can be forgiven and survived - if the person is “yours.” Where did this come from and what does “romantic perfectionism” mean? Let’s look at it below: First, let’s understand what perfectionism is? Perfectionism - from the English word. perfect – perfection, and denotes the pursuit of the ideal (in work, in personal life, in everyday life). But as with everything, there is a fine line on which one must balance so that the “striving for ideal” does not turn into “obsession with perfection.” In psychology, a perfectionist is one of the nine main personality types. The basic desire of such a person in the concept of personality types is to be good, decent, balanced, purposeful, the main fear is to show oneself dishonestly, to discover some flaws. What is perfectionism? There is no single model of perfectionism in psychology. I will tell you about the theory of Hewitt and Flett, who described its three forms. Each of them can be expressed to a greater or lesser extent. – Self-addressed perfectionism is associated with high internal standards, when a person simply cannot do something anyhow. – Socially prescribed perfectionism occurs when we are sure that what is expected of us perfection. – Perfectionism addressed to others (people and the world in general). When the wallpaper is glued so that the pattern doesn't fit together, and it's annoying. When your partner doesn't confess his love to you properly, or proposes like in love movies. So, what spoils relationships and disappoints, and what does perfectionism have to do with it? When perfectionism flourishes in a person, its harmful side effects appear. Dependence on ideals is accompanied by low self-esteem, anxiety about the opinions of others, criticism of other people's affairs and actions, and almost always procrastination. The desire to be ideal hides the need to be liked, to be worthy of love. In relationships, we go through a stage of being enveloped in feelings, and perfectionism towards our partner does not appear at first. When the first wave of emotions subsides, shortcomings and shortcomings come to the surface, and it becomes more difficult to try on a partner on the pattern of the “ideal”. For our part, we strive to show our best side in relationships, to do only the “right” things in relation to our partner, worry if he shows dissatisfaction. This fear of not living up to the ideal is intensified by clichéd declarations of love: “You are the whole world to me,” “I have never loved anyone like that,” “You are the ideal man/woman,” “I will never let you go.” It all sounds sweet, but in this way you impose obligations on your partner to fulfill these expectations. He must correspond to the “ideal that is loved.” Love becomes a fragile reward that must be earned. Or if the promises made in confessions are not fulfilled, a break occurs and now everything is over before death separates you - disappointment and even hatred occurs again. Additionally, this disappointment is intensified by the influence of pop culture and media, the promotion of unhealthy relationships in cinema: declarations of love are always lavish, he always catches up with her at the airport, she always wakes up with makeup, he is always successful, but at the same time cold - and only she can change him life and teach to love... In reality: all people are different, everyone knows how to love in their own way, not everyone is beautiful and successful... and sometimes even great love cannot help people exist together as a couple. And a little more about the toxicity of such films... For years, we have been propagated by the theory of “halves” in love, and that true love only happens once and for all. We begin to believe that a partner can only desire you and have great sex exclusively with you. To think that we are unique and special for our partner. We begin to think that partners should not ❤