How can you tell if your marriage is on the verge of divorce? In 90% of families, the same thing happens before divorce. And they convince themselves that this is normal. And then one of the spouses submits an application. I have compiled a list of signs that indicate that your union is on the verge of destruction. There will be a lot of benefit, so don't forget to share this article with your friends. .You play ping-pong with reproaches and complaints. -You don’t understand me at all! -I don’t understand you? I just understand that, but here you are! And so on in a circle. You don't remember the last time you spoke normally. Any dialogue comes down to shouting and insults. And you’re not just swearing, you’re looking for where to inject more painfully and how to offend more strongly. Stop. First, try changing your usual conflict cycle at least 2-3 times. For example, translate your complaints and dissatisfaction into a request format. Or give up your usual behavior in quarrels. Try different options - no one will do it for you. I talked in more detail about how to turn conflicts into peaceful channels in this article. (add a link to the article “How to argue without harming a relationship?”) You don’t want to spend time together. You are ready to stay late at work and do the hated report, just not to return home. On the weekend you meet with friends, go to the other side of town for drawing classes. Anything to avoid interfering with your spouse. The problem isn't that your schedules don't match, it's that you're both okay with it. The more you avoid each other, the wider the gap between you. Sex is becoming less and less frequent. And you perceive it as a marital duty. You are no longer interested in spending time in bed with each other. It’s better to be stuck on your phone or sleep longer. If every attempt to initiate intimacy stumbles over “I’m not in the mood, let’s not today,” this is a warning sign. In a healthy relationship, the quantity and quality of sex suits both people. For some couples, just once a month may be enough and they will be happy, but for others, five times a day is not enough. You have stopped being interested in each other. You have no desire to ask, “How was your day?” or “Where are you going?” You don't feel happy if your husband or wife gets promoted. You don't sympathize if he or she is having difficulties. You don’t care. Indifference is a sign that in your relationship there is only a set of functions left: go to the store, cook food, earn money, pick up the children from kindergarten. Formally, you are family, but in fact, you are roommates. You are playing the silent game. One of you wants to discuss some problem, but the other doesn’t care: “Well, what problems are these! Leave me alone!” So you are silent. Both. And what are you even talking about? Maximum exchange of messages: “Buy salt and toilet paper.” What to do if you find out your relationship? Is it possible to stay together or is the only thing left to do is file for divorce? Let me answer. You can save your family, but only if you both want it. Here are some tips to help you change your vector of movement towards harmonious relationships. Admit that you have problems. And you both created them. Now there is no right and wrong. Learn to talk and discuss problems, and don’t run away slamming doors. Of course, if you understand that you will say too much, then it is better to stop, cool down and return to the conversation later. Try to talk to each other without complaints, but with an indication of your feelings and needs. Deeper, more mature and thoughtful. Understand, are you ready to change and deepen your feelings together? Because nothing will change by itself. Contact a psychotherapist who will help you build interaction in a new way and restore harmony in your relationship. Using modern methods, this can be done in a couple of months. I work with couples on the verge of divorce in Emotionally Focused Therapy and within just a few meetings I see their love come to life and blossom. And most importantly, they start.