Have you ever watched a young man with horror in his eyes run away from a girl with whom he was once in love, courted her and wanted to build a harmonious relationship? Do you want to become such a girl? For some reason I think not. Most likely, because most women, when dating a man, do not set themselves scary goals. On the contrary, a girl wants to be attractive, necessary for her Man, so that he looks forward to meetings and misses communicating with her. I’ll tell you one secret: this running away young man was also in love at first, and he wanted to be close to his Lady. You ask: “But what happened then? What can alienate a man who loves sincerely so much? This question is very important, since a fragile feeling that is just forming into love often encounters an obstacle that it is not able to overcome: the obsession of one of the partners. I recently received the following letter on this topic: “Good afternoon. My boyfriend accused me of being obsessive and said that by doing this I was only making things worse! I answered that I just don’t like it when they don’t answer me and ignore me... How to act in such a situation, what should I do? Irina, 23 years old “Who is to blame? The problem described by Irina is a very common one. Typically, partners need different amounts of communication with each other: one needs to see each other every day, constantly talk on the phone and read endless messages from a loved one, the other has a need to spend some part of his free time with friends or alone. Being alone with yourself may be necessary not only to “take a break” from your partner, but often also in order to think about him in the absence of your loved one, to sincerely admire him again, to dream. After all, it is in such moments that you can experience the strongest feelings! Therefore, separation strengthens relationships when a person has a need for it. Such a desire does not indicate that one partner does not love or ignores the other, in anticipation of the initiative coming from him. Sometimes you just need to be alone, mind your own business, communicate with other people. Everyone is different, and if the needs of a loved one are different from ours, we have no right to blame him. No one is able to get rid of their needs. If you don’t satisfy them and try to “drive” them deeper into yourself, the consequences can be the most tragic: they will eventually burst out with double or even triple emphasis, uncontrollable for their owner and demolishing everything in their path. For this reason, you cannot get rid of your needs, but you can find other ways to satisfy them - this is the essence of compromises that ensure the stability of relationships between a woman and a man. For example, many men see the reason for their cheating on their wives in the lack of a sense of freedom, which they trying to find their lover in their arms. The very fact of having a mistress for them is a kind of “proof” of their own freedom. It is clear that this does not at all justify such a man in what he did. However, his wife made a significant contribution to the emergence of this problem. You might wonder what? Your own obsession. If she had not pestered him with endless communication, if she had allowed him to spend some time with other people and in other places, the husband would not have experienced a feeling of infringement of his own freedom. Infidelity, which is often very sad for a marriage, would not have happened. Thus, striving for frequent contact with a partner, a person often thinks about his need for frequency of communication with him, while not taking into account the needs of his partner, which may differ from his own. This is exactly what Irina’s young man spoke about, criticizing her obsession, which she “only makes worse.” Of course, it's worse for him, not for her. Without taking into account his needs, Irina may one day face the fact that her man will no longer put up with this and will refuse such a difficult relationship for him. This in turn will affect?