In the company of her friends, the woman once again sighs, complaining about her husband - every time he comes home from work, the first thing he does is begin to put all the things that, as it seems to him, are not there, in their places. At the same time, of course, he grumbles about his careless wife, who cannot restore order in the house. The wife cries, is offended, and everything repeats again. The “compassionate” friend immediately “advises” her: “If I were you, I would collect all these things and throw them out the window!”, “And I would take the frying pan and hit him on the head!” - echoes the second. Of course, women sincerely believe that their “advice” will definitely help our heroine “achieve” happiness in family life. The women are already over 40, they have their own families, children, and experience of family life. Despite this, they don’t even make any effort to at least somehow think about why their husband does this, they don’t even ask this question. And it’s surprising that as they age, many people don’t make any effort to think about their lives, to try analyze your actions, change your behavior... (By the way, even some psychologists quite seriously advise women in this case: “Don’t feed your husband, don’t wash his clothes, stop talking to him!..” - why then be surprised at the “advice” » girlfriends?) Wisdom is when you can look at a situation from the other side. They say that after 50-60 - either into old age or into wisdom. Or another expression: “Old age is not joy.” Why not joy? After all, young people are often forgiven for various stereotypical reactions and behavior, but when a person is over 50, and he continues to react to things in the same way, still act as if he were not 40-50-60 and so on, but only 12-18 , how sad it is to look at this. I just want to say - after all, you are no longer 18 years old to be so offended by someone or something, still grumble about the government, still wait for the weather to come. Of course, if you always hope that the world will change, people will improve, the dollar will “fall”, etc., then where will the joy come from? What, for example, is happening in the family? The couple lived in marriage for 20-30 years. It would seem that they know each other by heart. But just like 20-30 years ago, they take offense at each other, get angry, while saying: “You are forever...”, or “You, as always...”, “How many years have I been living with you, but I still can’t wait from you...” . Familiar phrases, right? Here is the real situation. A woman is offended by her husband (more than 30 years of marriage) because he constantly rejects her. What does it mean - rejects? Her husband is a professor, a very busy man, don’t feed him bread, just let him do what he loves – science. Every evening he continues to work on the computer, writing articles and reviews. My wife only asks - let’s go somewhere: to a cafe or just take a walk. To which her husband (it’s even difficult to calculate - once again) refuses her, citing being busy. The matter is serious, it comes to divorce - after all, how long can a wife endure this? It would seem that it is difficult for him to give in to his beloved wife at least once? I think no – it’s not difficult. Why such stubbornness? By the way, if he nevertheless gives in to his wife and agrees to take a walk with her, then, as a rule, these walks end in a quarrel, discontent, and the evening is ruined anyway. Is this familiar to you? The whole point is that the husband feels that this is exactly what his beloved wife needs - not to take a walk, not to go to a cafe, but to “reject” her, as she calls it. It turns out that this is exactly what her dad did as a child. He was very busy, and the girl kept dreaming that dad would go with her to the swing, buy her ice cream... It’s even possible that she didn’t have a dad at all, and the girl only knows from her mother that her dad abandoned them... Now it’s clear - where do the legs come from? Of course, even if this woman chooses as her husband a man who happily goes “on the swing” with her and “buys ice cream,” then after a few years he suddenly turns into a very busy man who you can’t drag anywhere by his ears. This is how he “tries” for his wife so that she can solve her childhood problem -