Guilty without guilt. It seems like I haven’t done anything, but the feeling of guilt is already wandering through my body. And somehow you don’t feel comfortable about it. Where does this feeling of guilt come from? Most often from childhood. Like many of our problems. I have no goal of finding someone to blame or turning children against their parents. I’m more about the phenomenon of feeling guilty for no reason. When a person has such a feeling of guilt, it is easier to control him, he is more obedient. He doesn't do anything stupid. He behaves decently and does not disgrace his parents in front of people. In general, a wonderful child. But the price for such a lovely child is a feeling of guilt. The child is afraid of doing something or somehow disturbing the psychological peace of his parents. As a result, he learns to trigger a feeling of guilt in himself for things that he has not yet done and as a result. He does not do anything. He becomes obedient and without initiative. Also, in the depths of this feeling of guilt, lies a lack of acceptance of oneself, one’s interests and desires. After all, if you know what you want, it will be difficult to be a good boy or a good girl. Therefore, children seem to abandon themselves and their “I” for the sake of adults. And everything would be fine, but this is fixed in the way they live their lives. And so a person enters adulthood and begins to suffer and suffer. He gets lost in a huge world. He is told to do what you want, take the initiative, but he has forgotten how to do it. And any attempt is torture, where the main and most unpleasant thing is a huge feeling of guilt, it’s not clear why. Such people get stuck somewhere in the middle. They are happy to realize themselves. But they just don’t know how to do what you want. They also need guidelines, someone to look up to or someone to compare themselves with and build their self-esteem on this. The confusion is incredible, emotions, thoughts and actions are mixed up and it seems there is no way out, but life goes on, as they say, “the clock is ticking.” And from this even more what is not more pleasant and even stronger is the feeling of guilt that you do not live up to the expectations placed on you by the older generation. To get rid of the feeling of guilt, you need to work a lot and closely either alone or with a Psychologist. Simply forgive your parents or give them all the complaints and call them to blame for your problems in life will not help much. Here you need to work more on your relationship with yourself. Get yourself back, no matter how strange it may sound. Bring back your “I”, which was once put into the background for the sake of others. Author Aliev Andrey - Psychologist online