In my practice, recently there has been an influx of clients suffering from social phobia. Thank God, these people came and are making quite good progress in working on their illness. But, I also know that there are those who do not reach specialists, for one reason or another - continuing to suffer. I would like to dedicate these small reflections to just such people and encourage them so that they can, firstly, understand what is happening to them and secondly, take a step towards their freedom. And so, social phobia is a fear, not even of society itself , but those situations that are associated with being in this society. A person suffering from social phobia is afraid of being ridiculed, afraid of being in an uncomfortable position. Finding himself in a situation where, as it seems to him, he will be evaluated, he experiences severe anxiety, which in some cases turns into panic attacks (a severe attack of anxiety, which is accompanied by a strong heartbeat , rapid breathing and a feeling of loss of control). Social phobia, like any other phobia, is absolutely irrational, that is, it is not based on real facts and it cannot be understood or cured using logic. It is based on the fantasy of the person experiencing it, that something will definitely happen to him for which he will be ridiculed and condemned by others. It is very difficult for such people to show their activity in society, they cannot make new acquaintances, and old connections disappear over time, because over time it becomes more and more difficult to maintain them. In general, by and large, it is the fear of being negatively assessed. On the side, these people suffer from increased perfectionism; it is important for them to do everything perfectly, and if not, then it is better to do nothing at all, so that no one judges or ridicules them. If we consider the causes of social phobia, we can say that its origins lie in upbringing. Most often these are internalized maternal fears that anxious mothers put into their children. Remember, probably - don’t jump, don’t run, you’ll fall, you’ll break yourself - this is at a younger age. Next is the parent’s favorite - what will people say, what will they think, don’t meet, don’t communicate, “bring it in the hem,” etc.? In general, the main message is that the world is an unsafe place, and, accordingly, the human environment exists only to ridicule and condemn you. Then the school and the relationships of teachers aggravate the problem. The children's environment is a very cruel environment and being ridiculed for some shortcoming, giving “nicknames” and labeling is considered almost the norm. Teachers also make their contribution - constant criticism, and the assessment system itself for children who are insecure about themselves is simply painful and unbearable. Further, worse - institute, a new, unknown environment! Even though you were bullied at school, at least you already knew everyone there and understood what to expect from whom, here everything is new and the problem most often gets worse. You still have to make a lot of independent decisions, and the situation of any choice for a social phobe is a situation comparable to the choice between death and life, since making a mistake is scary and practically impossible. The older a person gets, the more extensive social connections become, as well as the anxieties associated with them. . Social phobia, fortunately, is an objectively assessed thing - a person understands well that something is wrong with him and something needs to be done. But, unfortunately, such people, due to the specifics of their disease, rarely turn to a psychologist, according to the quite understandable ones listed above reasons - this is a new contact and again - what will they think about me? But it is not possible to cope with such a problem as social phobia alone! Therefore, most often, such people cope with their illness with the help of drugs that relieve anxiety - alcohol, drugs, pills... I think what happens next is not worth describing. Also, depression for such people, unfortunately, becomes an almost constant companion. But, as a specialist, I can say that social phobia can be treated and is treated quite successfully, for a long time, but I repeat -.