What to do if a child has become uncontrollable - gets into fights, is rude, breaks toys, uses obscene language, reacts to any requests or words with a roar or scream? Aggressive behavior at the age of 3-7 years is a common occurrence, as children react to cruelty, indifference or injustice, attracting parental attention. Aggression means that the child does not feel safe and is trying to protect personal boundaries. But a variety of stimuli can provoke such a reaction. Aggression in a child: causes of child cruelty • Unfavorable environment at home or in kindergarten Someone around the child behaves incorrectly - insults, offends or intimidates the baby. Perhaps the parents are not shy about sorting things out in front of the child, and often quarrel and fight. Take a closer look, who is demonstrating an aggressive pattern of behavior? The child gets used to this, perceives aggression as the norm, a way to solve problems, and then begins to imitate the bully. • Inadequate parenting style There are parents who do not control their child, encourage permissiveness and the absence of any moral standards. In such a family, the child sees the indifference of adults and does not feel emotional closeness. This pushes him to hooliganism in order to compensate for the lack of attention. At the other extreme, if an anxious mother and father overprotect the child, they limit his freedom. In this case, it includes internal protest and aggression in order to defend personal space. • Prohibition on the expression of negative feelings If you forbid the child to show resentment, anger or sadness (“don’t cry”, “girls don’t behave like that”), suppressed emotions in some way the moment will still break out. Children who have suppressed themselves for a long time, denied anger and tears, can throw a tantrum at the most unexpected moment, become uncontrollable, breaking everything in their path. • Physical and moral violence in the family Constant punishment, manipulation, humiliation, pressure on the feeling of shame (“you are bad” ", "I'm ashamed to be your mother", "get your belt ready") increase the level of stress that needs to be discharged. The more threats a child receives, the stronger the aggression will be. How is aggression expressed in children? Kids can bite, get into fights, call names, imitate negative movie characters, be capricious, insist on their opinion without agreeing to a compromise. Also, suppressed aggression is directed by the child against himself - in the form of self-harm, hitting his head against the wall or scratching. How to work with aggression in a child? First of all, understand that children cannot be prohibited from showing negative emotions; anger and fear must have a way out, preferably in a safe place channel – sports, creativity, environmental communication.1. Be an example for your child. Work with your own aggression, do not raise your voice at your child, do not start arguments out of nowhere, do not discipline with a belt, do not put forward contradictory demands. The child does not listen to words, he looks at actions - become a role model.2. Less criticism, more praise Don't devalue your child's merits, stop scolding him in public and ignoring his feelings. Your task is to strengthen your child’s self-esteem, not destroy it. Praise your child more, notice his merits, encourage victories, give positive reinforcement. It is necessary to reduce stress levels and create safe conditions for development.3. Direct aggression in a positive direction Let the child splash out the accumulated energy in dancing, at sports competitions or in creative clubs. Any outdoor games that will relieve stress and teach him healthy communication with peers will do. Take a closer look at games to develop empathy - fairy tale therapy, art therapy, drama club - where the child can express himself, learn to express his emotions correctly. What games will help throw out aggression? • Modeling and drawing You can draw anything - your feelings, favorite characters, sadness, fear, joy. Instead of pencils and brushes, it is better to use your fingers and.