To overcome this complex, we will try to recognize it in ourselves. Let's look at how it affects the quality of our lives and talk about its harm. Signs that you are a “victim” Try to answer honestly the questions of how often you act this way: - you had your own plans or important things to do, but I had to put them aside in order to help another person in something where he could get by himself; - instead of taking care of personal matters, you take on more work that does not bring pleasure and is not part of your responsibilities; - do not break ties with your partner, although you know that the relationship is unpromising, and in it you give more than you receive; - do not ask for help from others, but prefer to do everything yourself, and people begin to take advantage of this; - it’s hard to answer no; by refusing you are afraid of offending the person or losing him; - you often feel guilty or feel a sense of duty to your parents, partner or friends and they abuse it; - agree to lower pay, a less prestigious position, free overtime, reassuring yourself that others don’t have such a job, but here you have a stable income. But at the same time you feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Does this often happen in your life? Now about the consequences of what this can lead to. The more you are ready to sacrifice yourself, the more the world and your environment will accept these sacrifices and ask for more. No one can be good to everyone and please everyone. And being in a constant “sacrificial” state you: 1. Experience a feeling of resentment. Most often it is not obvious, but oppresses somewhere in the depths and corrodes from the inside. You understand that you are infringing on yourself, but you cannot fight it. You know you deserve more, but you take what they give. You don’t understand why others have everything, but life constantly infringes on you. 2. You experience negative emotions. They are most often expressed in constant irritation and dissatisfaction. And when they accumulate for a long time and reach a boiling point, they develop into obvious hatred and anger. Not only to others, but also to yourself. 3. Tolerate violence. Most often, children or women suffer from this. By their nature, being physically weaker and also emotionally depressed, they are unable to resist the tyranny of their parents or partner. 4.You can’t realize yourself. This is expressed both in personal life and in the work sphere. Constantly sacrificing yourself for the benefit of others, you simply do not have enough time to take care of personal goals or tasks. 5. You attract exploiters or tyrants to yourself. Thanks to your sacrifice and reliability, you will always be surrounded by people who do not mind succeeding at your expense. Already reading this text, you can accept and acknowledge the presence of such a position in your life. And this is 50% of the solution to the problem. Remember at the beginning we talked about the signs of “sacrifice” in your behavior? We need to work with them both independently and in therapy. - Learn to put yourself first; - Talk about your needs and desires openly; - Learn to say “no” to what you don’t like; - Cultivate your faith in yourself and your strengths, the ability to cope with any difficulties; - Work with excessive feelings of guilt and learn to take responsibility for your life. I work with these and other issues in personal therapy..